When Trials Come... In the Center of God's Will

What do we do when we feel we're exactly where we believe God wants us to be, and intense trials come? I don't know about you, but if I'm exactly where I feel God wants me to be – even where God led me – I certainly don't expect the type of trials that might shake my faith. Little trials, yeah. But not ones that threaten to turn my whole belief system upside down.

In my reading in Exodus recently, this came to mind when I came to chapter 17. Moses had just led Israel out of Egypt, the Red Sea parted, the people saw the Egyptians perish, God had gone ahead of them in a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night, and he miraculously fed them. You'd think witnessing those type of miracles would inoculate anyone from doubting their God.

Not so with the Israelites. And perhaps not so with us either.

If you don't have a Bible handy, I'll summarize the events. In verse 1, it appears that God was leading the people of Israel to each encampment. They settled at this point at Rephidim – where God appears to have led them directly – and they came upon two significant trials: lack of water and enemy attack. For the purposes of this blog, I'm going to focus in on the enemy attack.

I can't imagine the surprise the Israelites experienced when they were attacked. Here they were, exactly where God wanted them to be. Yet they were attacked. It must be noted that Israel had never experienced war in their lifetimes. In fact, the whole reason God didn't immediately take them into the Promised Land after their exodus from Egypt was because God knew they would face war and wouldn't be able to handle it (Exodus 13:17).

So how did Moses their leader respond? He didn't panic. He didn't doubt God. He immediately took action and told Joshua to take an army of men and go fight. He assured Joshua that he would indeed be there with him watching from a hill with the “staff of God” in his hand. This staff was Moses's reminder to Joshua that the Lord would prevail. It was this staff that Moses used when God struck the plagues on the Egyptians. It was this staff that Moses lifted when God parted the Red Sea. It was with this staff that Moses had just struck a rock and provided water for the people at Rephidim. In effect, Moses was reminding Joshua of God's faithful acts so Joshua would continue in that faith during this uncharted territory of war. And Joshua (the leader-of-Israel in training, unbeknownst to himself) obeyed. And through God's power, he and his army were victorious.

So what can we take from this? First, we can be smack-dab in the center of God's will and still experience trials that we never dreamed of, never were prepared for, and never expected. Those trials can overwhelm us to the point that we have temporary spiritual amnesia and forget all that God has done for us. We should never believe our faith is unshakable. We must remain on our guard.

Second, when we come upon those trials, we must remember God's faithfulness. We must remember what God has done for us. When it seems like the hand of God is nowhere in sight, we must go back to those times where God's hand was clearly on our lives. When our emotions are uncontrollably spiraling, our mind has to recollect God's goodness. We must remember that without exception, God is good.

Finally, we must have faith in the master plan. The attack on Israel gave Joshua his first battle experience, experience he would draw upon when the larger battles – the ones he had to lead when Israel fought for their rightful occupation in the Promised land – ensued. This attack also reaffirmed the hand of God on Moses's life in the eyes of the people. Granted, like us, they would continue to struggle in their faith and would continue to doubt Moses, but this experience served to show Israel once again that they were God's people, and Moses was their leader.

Yes, God very well may lead us to a place where trials lie ahead. Even when we doubt whether we were in his will in the first place, even when we're too caught up in our pain to recollect his faithfulness, even when we can't see our next step much less the master plan, God may just have something bigger in mind than we can fathom.

God Alone

Focal Verse: "I am the LORD; that is my name! I will not give my glory to another" (Isaiah 42:8).

I wonder sometimes if we don't see present-day miracles, because we don't have the faith to ask God for the otherwise impossible?

I started pondering this as I was working through my anger at God when a surgery to remove my father-in-law's tumor was unsuccessful last fall. We all thought this was the answer. I for one was sure that God was going to use this surgery to heal him. When that didn't happen, I was shocked. Confused. Angry. Then as I was working through my emotions, the verse in Isaiah crossed my mind: "I will not give my glory to another." I thought maybe, just maybe, God was waiting until every medical method had been exhausted, so that when Mike is healed, there would be no mistaking that God was the healer.

While I obviously can't predict the future, nor conclude that this will be the case in my father-in-law's situation, I started pondering the words of this verse in light of many other situations in life, and I started to see a central truth.

Perhaps we don't see - or even ask for - God's miracles, because we expect God to work alongside an earthly solution.

Instead of praying that God will heal a dead marriage, we buy self-help books, even Christian ones. But when the other partner doesn't want any part of the new book we found, we give up. We assume God just isn't going to intervene on this one.

Instead of praying that God will revive our church, we come up with new programs that we know will grow our numbers. But when these programs didn't yield the results, we assume we picked the wrong programs, or that someone didn't do his job.

Instead of praying that God will heal a relationship, we go to other friends to get their opinions on what we should do. But when all that does is give us another shoulder to cry on but no real results, we give up on the relationship and hold on to our bitterness.

You see, I'm convinced that we pray about lots of things, but how many times do we expect that God alone will answer. Not God along with our new book. Not God along with our new programs. Not God along with our friends. Now, I'm not saying that God can't use these things. Certainly he can and does. I'm simply wanting to point out what I have found to be true in my own wavering faith. When I pray, I am looking for the answer in other things, and either God will enable those to work, or God is my back-up plan. God is rarely THE solution I expect.

I am reminded of the story with the great prophet Elijah in 1 Kings 18. Elijah had a contest with the prophets of Baal to see which god would burn up their sacrifice with fire. After the prophets of Baal saw no results from their god, it was Elijah's turn. What is remarkable about this story is that Elijah had 4 jars full of water poured on the sacrifice, so that when God consumed the offering with fire, there was no doubt that it was God alone who performed this miracle.

Look at the prayer Elijah prays after the offering is drenched with water: "Answer me, O LORD, answer me, so these people will know that you, O LORD, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again" (verse 37). Elijah knew that there was a higher purpose to this miracle. Not only would the people see the glory of God, but they would also know that this God wanted a relationship with his people again.

After the fire not only consumed the offering but also all the water, soil, and stones around it, the people believed: "When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, 'The LORD -he is God! The LORD -he is God!' (verse 39)"

There was no doubt that God was the author of this miracle, and God used this miracle to turn his people back to him.

Oh, that I could have the faith of Elijah. That I would boldly pray for a miracle that would bring glory to God and people to faith in him. That I would expect God to answer in a miraculous way. And that if, even if I step out in bold faith, God chooses to say "no" or "not now" to my request, that I would simply trust in him and not get discouraged. That I would continue approaching his throne of grace, and that I would be sensitive to when he prompts me to pray for a miracle that would reveal his glory.

That I would have faith in God alone.

Walking on Water, Part 2

When the phone rang, I was filled with nervous anticipation. My husband was searching for a job after his second layoff, and he had just taken a test for the one company that could keep us in Russellville with all of our family. I was so hopeful for good news.

After all, at the moment, pain was all around me. I was in a Florida hotel room accompanying my mother-in-law to her step-father's funeral. This sudden death added to the pain our family was experiencing with my father-in-law's fight with cancer. I was so hopeful that this phone call would bring a light to our darkness.

But my hopes were shattered as soon as I heard Matt's voice. He didn't know the results, but he was sure he didn't pass. In that phone call, our hopes for staying in our hometown, being near our family, and building our home, were slipping away.

I went to take a shower before the visitation, and I couldn't help but sob and sob. I didn't understand. Why were all these things happening at once? Why couldn't we have gotten some good news? Had God forgotten about us? Did he still have a plan? Why did he seem so silent? At that moment, the faith I had worked so hard to maintain over the months was crumbling.

And there I was. With nothing else left to cling to. Except the one thing I couldn't let go of.

Thankfully, in the midst of it all, I couldn't forget Who my God is. I couldn't forget his promises. His character. His love. His provision. I learned that when I fixed my eyes on him, and him alone, the circumstances around me seemed to get dimmer in the shadow of his light.

What I experienced in my heart that day is what I think Peter experienced when he walked on the water with Jesus.

"'Come,' [Jesus] said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, 'Lord, save me!'" (Matthew 14:29-30)

According to the first part of this verse, Peter walked on the water with no problem. He had his eyes on Jesus. The reality of his circumstances - the fierce wind and waves - were not a question in his mind at that point. All that mattered was that he saw Jesus, he was walking to Jesus, and he trusted Jesus.

But then things changed. Peter became aware of his reality. Most translations of this verse I read say that Peter "saw" the wind. If Peter saw the wind, then his eyes weren't fixed on Jesus. They were fixed on his circumstances, and he panicked. He found himself sinking.

One interesting thing to note is that the wind didn't stop when Peter was walking on water. The difference in his condition was where his eyes were fixed. When they were fixed on Jesus, his circumstances didn't change. The wind was howling and the waves were threatening. But because his eyes were on Jesus, he didn't sink.

Similarly, when we fix our eyes on Jesus, our circumstances don't automatically improve. Jesus doesn't always calm the storm immediately. But when our focus is on him, our perspective changes. He gives us the strength to overcome, and he walks us through it. Then, in his time, and whether it be in this life or in Heaven, Jesus will take us in the boat and the wind will stop.

A few weeks after Matt took his test, he got a letter that he - miraculously - passsed his test and eventually got the job. Jesus had taken us into the boat and this storm had calmed.

But I will never forget that day when the wind and waves were so fierce that all I could do to keep from sinking was look to my Jesus.

Walking on Water, Part 1

I remember the night vividly. It was spring of last year, and I was sitting in the chair beside Drew's crib, waiting for him to fall asleep. The praise songs that calmed Drew for sleep were echoing in the room, almost mocking how I was feeling at the moment.

My husband had been laid off for the second time in four months, and we were clueless about what God wanted for us. The faith that had seen me through the first layoff was faltering. I couldn't see which way to go, and I definitely couldn't see God anywhere in sight. It felt as if he had just left us there in our situation, all alone.

This must have been what the disciples had felt after Jesus had fed the five thousand and then sent the them across the sea on a boat. When Jesus still hadn't joined them between 3 a.m. and 6 a.m., the disciples were afraid and worried. Not only was it the wee hours of the morning, but the wind was also causing the boat to rock and sway. They were fearful and probably confused. After all, they were on the water because this was what Jesus had told them to do, and they had followed his instructions.

Little did they know that Jesus was going to come through for them and perform a miracle right before their frightened eyes.

If Jesus had walked on water during the daytime and in calm seas, would the disciples have experienced the full effect and power of this miracle?

Sometimes we can do exactly what Jesus tells us to do, and stil we find ourselves in the dark, tossed by the wind and waves, with no hint of Jesus in sight. But it's just in this lowest moment where he wants to do a miracle and reveal his full power and presence to us.

Three months after my husband's second layoff, he was blessed with a job better than the previous two. Even though at times we couldn't see God's plan, looking back, his hand never left us. Our faith grew in a way that would have never been possible, had we not been in the storm in the first place.

"But he said to them, 'It is I; don't be afraid.' Then they were willing to take him into the boat, and immediately the boat reached the shore where they were heading" (John 6:20-21).

A Living Sacrifice

Focal Verses: "Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will" (Romans 12:1-2).

I'm learning a lot about faith these days. It seems like life has thrown us nothing but one disappointment after another over the last year, and some days, I just wonder when there will be some relief. Hope. Restoration.

I'd like to say that I've been the one who has been the family cheerleader, the one with the positive outlook, reminding everyone else that God has a greater purpose for our travails. Deep down, even though I have to cheer on myself at times, I believe it. I have clung to the hope that God wouldn't let us go through all of this if there weren't a greater purpose. And deep down, my hope has been that in the end, we'll be able to see God weaving every circumstance together for the good, and alas, we'll have our happily ever after.

As you can imagine, this outlook can be a little tiring. Sometimes I've grown weary and have wondered how long my strength is going to last. Is there a limit to my faith? It has been a little frightening. Yet today as I was thinking about everything that has happened, and the hope I have that surely some glimmer of hope is bound to come soon, God whispered a new perspective into my ear. The thought crossed my mind, What if there is no magical answer, no final solution? What if there is no happily ever after? What if God is calling us to live in this adversity indefinitely?

I let my mind ponder on this, and as I did, God brought to mind the chorus of a song by Jeremy Camp, "What it Means." I'll include the song below, but here are the lyrics to the chorus:

Show me what it means, To live my life a sacrifice, If only I would realize how much It took to pay the price, I know I’d always give, Everything to you.

It is hard for me to put into words what the Holy Spirit gently reminded me. But it basically came down to this: God doesn't owe me a happy ending. If he wants me to live my life - even the rest of my earthly days if necessary - in adversity, so be it. He gave his all to me in giving his Son, and the least I can do is offer him my life. I think I've gotten myself so programmed to believing in this happy ending that he would provide, that my faith has been in his ability to provide it rather than trusting that he is all I need.

Perhaps God hasn't provided the solution to our adversities yet because he wants me to become completely dependent on him. That doesn't make God insensitive or uncaring. It is actually the opposite. He cares enough to allow me to go through these things because he knows that anything I cling to in this world is rubbish anyway. He hates seeing me hurt, but he knows if by going through these trials, I can become less dependent on the things of this world - even GOOD things - then I will find my complete joy in him.

Now, that's not to say that I have given up on my happy ending. But I realized that this happy ending, even though I believed it was going to come from God, should not have been the source of my hope. Job says it all to well in Job 1:21, "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised."

My hope should come in offering myself as a living sacrifice, so I can live in a way as to worship the God who gave his all for me. Any other blessings that he provides is just "gravy."

Who knows, maybe this is the "secret" of contentment Paul was talking about in Philippians 4:12: "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

Miracle of the Moment

Focal Verse: "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" Matthew 6:33-34

Isn't it funny how we can sing every word of a familiar song, and yet the words go straight from our heads to our lips and completely bypass our hearts? Then one day we hear the song, maybe in light of a new circumstance, and we finally "hear" it for the first time.

This happened to me last week. Steven Curtis Chapman's song Miracle of the Moment came on the radio. For the first time, these powerful lyrics hit me.

You see, at this moment, my family is in somewhat of a holding pattern, waiting for circumstances to change so we can land at our destination. About a month ago, my husband's company decided to close down the branch he was working at. He had the opportunity to take a transfer to a branch 6 hours away, but after much prayer and contemplation, we decided not to move. Since then, he has been pursuing a couple of local opportunities, but neither company has been in any hurry to make a decision. So we are waiting for God to provide my husband a job.

On my side of things, I yearn to delve more into writing and teaching, but with working the hours I do, I simply don't have enough time to devote to my passion. I am waiting for God to work out my circumstances so I am free to give more of myself to pursue what I feel he made me to do.

These last few weeks, unknowingly, my mindset has become that of "just get through each day until God provides the next thing." I realized that while I feel I'm doing a pretty good job trusting God with our future, I'm doing a terrible job of being content now. I have looked at each day as a day to mark off my calendar, not as day to make the most of.

So you can probably see why these lyrics hit me pretty hard:

There’s a wonder in the here and now
It’s right there in front of you
And I don’t want you to miss
The miracle of the moment
There’s only one who knows
What’s really out there waiting
In all the moments yet to be
And all we need to know
Is He’s out there waiting
To Him the future’s history
And He has given us a treasure called right now
And this is the only moment we can do anything about

I had to realize that God isn't "waiting" for anything. He could provide everything for us right now if he wanted to. But there is obviously a reason we are waiting. I am realizing that by simply looking at each day as a day to endure and get through, I could miss so much. Having my head in the clouds of my future, I could miss the opportunity to minister to someone. I could fail to appreciate the little things my son is doing at this stage of his life. I could miss little lessons like these that could help me the rest of my life!

Like me, is there something you're waiting for, that once it happens, all will be well? We can't forget that God's timing is perfect! There is a purpose for our waiting. If you recall King David, he was first anointed king in 1 Samuel 16. But he didn't become king until 2 Samuel 5 -- 18 chapters later! If you skim through those chapters, you see he isn't sitting on his hands, waiting for God to oust Saul from the throne and fulfill his promise. He was working! He was fighting for his people, seeking God, and writing many of the Psalms we read today.

I hope to take after David's example, and not only trust God with our future, but also look for the miracles in the here and now.