I remember the night vividly. It was spring of last year, and I was sitting in the chair beside Drew's crib, waiting for him to fall asleep. The praise songs that calmed Drew for sleep were echoing in the room, almost mocking how I was feeling at the moment.
My husband had been laid off for the second time in four months, and we were clueless about what God wanted for us. The faith that had seen me through the first layoff was faltering. I couldn't see which way to go, and I definitely couldn't see God anywhere in sight. It felt as if he had just left us there in our situation, all alone.
This must have been what the disciples had felt after Jesus had fed the five thousand and then sent the them across the sea on a boat. When Jesus still hadn't joined them between 3 a.m. and 6 a.m., the disciples were afraid and worried. Not only was it the wee hours of the morning, but the wind was also causing the boat to rock and sway. They were fearful and probably confused. After all, they were on the water because this was what Jesus had told them to do, and they had followed his instructions.
Little did they know that Jesus was going to come through for them and perform a miracle right before their frightened eyes.
If Jesus had walked on water during the daytime and in calm seas, would the disciples have experienced the full effect and power of this miracle?
Sometimes we can do exactly what Jesus tells us to do, and stil we find ourselves in the dark, tossed by the wind and waves, with no hint of Jesus in sight. But it's just in this lowest moment where he wants to do a miracle and reveal his full power and presence to us.
Three months after my husband's second layoff, he was blessed with a job better than the previous two. Even though at times we couldn't see God's plan, looking back, his hand never left us. Our faith grew in a way that would have never been possible, had we not been in the storm in the first place.
"But he said to them, 'It is I; don't be afraid.' Then they were willing to take him into the boat, and immediately the boat reached the shore where they were heading" (John 6:20-21).
2 comments:
You never cease to amaze me. You have been given a great gift and are so talented. Your writing is beautiful and I can hear your voice as I read which many believe is a true sign of a great writer. Move over Beth Moore here comes Jill McSheehy!!
Wow, Jennifer,thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement. Beth Moore is a true inspiration to me and if God could use me to reach just a fraction of those he has reached through her, I would feel more than blessed!
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