It was a beautiful Friday afternoon in July. I sat in the nursery rocking Drew, 11 months old at the time, to sleep. I had taken the afternoon off when my husband Matt had called me telling me that his dad Mike had been sick, and bloodwork revealed there was illness. With Mike's previous two bouts with cancer two decades prior, we knew it had returned.
As Drew lay peacefully in my lap, I found myself praying through tears, "Father, I know all things are for your glory, but for the life of me I cannot imagine Mike's death being for your glory. Even so, it's in your hands."
Interrupting my prayer came words out of nowhere. This sickness will not end in death. My mind hadn't even gone to any Bible verses, so I knew these words were not of my own thought process. I recognized the phrase coming from the New Testament, but I couldn't even recall which story it was from. I knew from the bottom of my heart, and I had no doubt, that these words were from God.
As tests started to reveal more and more bad news, I started to believe that these words were given to me so that despite the reality, my role would be faith. Faith that this sickness would not end in death, no matter how dire the situation became.
I embraced my new role and kept the faith, praying for healing, knowing it would come in God's time. As those difficult months became years, I found myself still keeping the faith, praying for healing, yet also questioning that perhaps I had misunderstood. After all, those words were from Jesus when Lazarus was sick, and Lazarus died before Jesus raised him from the dead. But throughout it all, I never doubted that the words were from God, even if I didn't understand them completely. I finally accepted what Priscilla Shirer stated in her book Discerning the Voice of God, that you may never know if you truly heard from God until it comes to pass.
Then after two long years, again on a Friday afternoon, I found myself watching Mike taking his last breaths. As he did, I oddly did not feel the presence of God. I didn't know why.
Two days later on Sunday morning, Drew, now 3, woke me up at 4 a.m. I couldn't go back to sleep, so as the sun rose, I found myself alone and reading my Bible. I decided to go back to John chapter 11, where those words that I thought I had heard were located. As I intently read every word of that chapter, little nuggets of truth popped out at me, but when I read two verses, I found myself sobbing.
"Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?'" (John 11:25-26, emphasis mine).
"Never die!" "Never die!" Those words were so loud in my heart that I could feel them with every fiber of my being. The Mike I knew never died!
Through my tears it all became plain to me. The reason I felt so odd in the hospital as Mike drew his last breath is because death isn't natural. It's not the way God intended. Only after sin entered the world did death follow. The wages of sin is death... the words of the verse I had memorized as a child held new meaning now. Though the wages of sin is also spiritual death, I saw firsthand the wages of sin in the carnal sense. ...but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Mike's soul never died because he accepted Jesus's gift of salvation. I found myself having my own little worship service, praising God, thanking him for salvation. At this moment, it took on a whole new dimension in my life.
Then my heart reflected to those words I thought I had heard two years ago. This sickness will not end in death. They were, in fact, the words of God, straight to my heart. Two years ago, God had this very moment in mind for me, that I may see the big picture in a new way. That I may look upon my own salvation with a new thankfulness, and that I may find peace that though Mike's body isn't here, his soul never died. And it's only because of Jesus' gift that any of us who accepts it has assurance that we will never die.
What about the "why" question that seems to rear its ugly head? I won't know all the answers until I meet Jesus, but I go back to that verse in John: "Jesus said, 'This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it.'" (John 11:4)
One thing is for sure. God has been and will continue to be glorified through Mike's illness and his physical death. And now Mike knows all the answers to the whys and is glorifying God that his sickness did not end in death.
Cherishing the Good News
I found myself pulling up my mother-in-law's blog again. I don't know why I was checking it because I knew what would be on there.
I guess I just wanted to hear the good news again.
My father-in-law has been fighting cancer for over two years, a cancer that should have overtaken him long ago. After setback upon setback this year, we received good news for a change. The tumor hadn't grown at all in the six months since his last scan, and most of that time he had no treatment.
First my husband called me, and then my father-in-law called me. Later I found myself wanting to hear the good news from my mother-in-law on her blog. I simply wanted to hear the good news over and over again.
That made me start to think abou the "ultimate" good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ. How often do I yearn to hear that good news over and over? I have to admit sometimes it's easy to mentally "check out" when I hear teaching or preaching about salvation. Tell me something I can use today.
Oh, how that must sadden Jesus who gave it all for me. May I never "get over" this priceless gift. May I be grateful every day that through his sacrifice I have hope in eternal salvation. May I never lose sight that I am saved from the punishment my sins deserve.
May I never tire of hearing the good news. May I want to hear it over and over.
I guess I just wanted to hear the good news again.
My father-in-law has been fighting cancer for over two years, a cancer that should have overtaken him long ago. After setback upon setback this year, we received good news for a change. The tumor hadn't grown at all in the six months since his last scan, and most of that time he had no treatment.
First my husband called me, and then my father-in-law called me. Later I found myself wanting to hear the good news from my mother-in-law on her blog. I simply wanted to hear the good news over and over again.
That made me start to think abou the "ultimate" good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ. How often do I yearn to hear that good news over and over? I have to admit sometimes it's easy to mentally "check out" when I hear teaching or preaching about salvation. Tell me something I can use today.
Oh, how that must sadden Jesus who gave it all for me. May I never "get over" this priceless gift. May I be grateful every day that through his sacrifice I have hope in eternal salvation. May I never lose sight that I am saved from the punishment my sins deserve.
May I never tire of hearing the good news. May I want to hear it over and over.
Melancholy Diaries: True Contentment
When he said, "Just relax," I wanted to clock him. You'd think after 8 years of marriage my husband would know that "Just Relax" is the last thing I want to hear when anxiety overwhelms me.
It was not an uncommon Sunday night, when I tend to struggle more than any other time. This particular night seemed worse than other ones, though. My temper was flaring and my will was losing the battle against this depression threatening to overtake me.
The next morning, true to my routine, I fought my "Monday morning blues" and got my coffee at 5:30 and opened the Bible. For some reason, I felt steered toward a familiar passage in Philippians that always intrigued me. It talks about how Paul had learned the "secret" of being content no matter the circumstances. In the past I could never really wrap my mind around the kind of contentment that Paul talked about. But this morning was different.
As I read over this passage, I began to consider the source of my discontent. It was in a particular area of my life that I wanted to be changed. It would be a change that would glorify God; I was simply waiting for his timing. Surely, I thought, once God brings about this change, I will be content. I will have peace and joy.
That's when it hit me. The source of my contentment can't lie in my circumstances, even if my ideal circumstances involve something that would be glorifying to God. The source of my contentment must lie in God and God alone.
My "ideal" circumstance still doesn't promise contentment. Likely, I would struggle with some of the same things I struggle with now. That's why I realized the true state of my heart must be content in God alone. In Jesus' sacrifice that paid my debt. In his overwhelming love for me. In his forgiveness. In the fact that he does have a plan for my life.
But even that perfect plan doesn't promise the peace and joy I long for.
Only God and my heart fully committed to resting in him will bring true joy and peace.
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want" (Philippians 4:12).
(Melancholy Diaries is a section I will be writing on from time to time about my struggle with a form of depression and discontent, and how God is healing this part of my life. Hopefully through my own struggle, those with similar struggles will be able to identify and find hope.)
It was not an uncommon Sunday night, when I tend to struggle more than any other time. This particular night seemed worse than other ones, though. My temper was flaring and my will was losing the battle against this depression threatening to overtake me.
The next morning, true to my routine, I fought my "Monday morning blues" and got my coffee at 5:30 and opened the Bible. For some reason, I felt steered toward a familiar passage in Philippians that always intrigued me. It talks about how Paul had learned the "secret" of being content no matter the circumstances. In the past I could never really wrap my mind around the kind of contentment that Paul talked about. But this morning was different.
As I read over this passage, I began to consider the source of my discontent. It was in a particular area of my life that I wanted to be changed. It would be a change that would glorify God; I was simply waiting for his timing. Surely, I thought, once God brings about this change, I will be content. I will have peace and joy.
That's when it hit me. The source of my contentment can't lie in my circumstances, even if my ideal circumstances involve something that would be glorifying to God. The source of my contentment must lie in God and God alone.
My "ideal" circumstance still doesn't promise contentment. Likely, I would struggle with some of the same things I struggle with now. That's why I realized the true state of my heart must be content in God alone. In Jesus' sacrifice that paid my debt. In his overwhelming love for me. In his forgiveness. In the fact that he does have a plan for my life.
But even that perfect plan doesn't promise the peace and joy I long for.
Only God and my heart fully committed to resting in him will bring true joy and peace.
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want" (Philippians 4:12).
(Melancholy Diaries is a section I will be writing on from time to time about my struggle with a form of depression and discontent, and how God is healing this part of my life. Hopefully through my own struggle, those with similar struggles will be able to identify and find hope.)
Sharing in Spite of Fear
Although my hands weren't shaking, they might as well have been. The butterflies in my stomach slowly started to calm. I am embarrassed to even admit the reason for my nervousness.
I just had shared Christ with a coworker.
Don't get me wrong. I have shared my faith plenty of times, but usually it was in the context of one of the following:
I had been praying for "Amy" since she started working in the same office as me a few months prior. I talked about church and tried to be the best example I could be, in the hopes a topic about God would come up. I had tried to build a relationship with her, hoping that the better we got to know one another, the better opportunity I would have. Interestingly, the more we worked together, the harder it became.
Yet lately God has been making me really uncomfortable with my laissez-faire attitude about sharing Christ. Jesus didn't wait for opportunities. He initiated conversations. He didn't tell his disciples to be a good witness because they might be the only Bible some might read. He told them to go and tell.
Yet this conviction didn't make all my fear disappear. Recently I had to take my husband in for a surgical procedure. True to my introvert nature, I just wanted to study for my next lesson I would be teaching at church and maybe read a magazine. My plans did not involve being ready to share my faith with the hospital worker who wanted to small-talk. Perfect opportunity. And just like Jonah, I ran the other way.
After intense conviction over this lost opportunity, I repented and asked God to give me the opportunity to initiate a conversation with Amy, my coworker. Still fearful, I was determined to obey this time.
Before heading to work this morning, I received a text that the other coworker who is in the office with Amy and me wouldn't be coming in. I then realized that Amy and I would be alone in the office. God brought to mind phrases from Ephesians 6 I had read this morning. "Stand firm...with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace." "Pray that I may declare [the gospel] fearlessly." And to top it all off, a song came on the radio at that moment with the words "Don't forget why you're here."
So at the first opportunity, butterflies and all, I shared with Amy. She was receptive, and although she hasn't made a decision yet, I pray for her, that she will come to know Christ's saving grace.
And as the butterflies started to calm, I was at peace. I obeyed. I did my part. Now it's the Holy Spirit's turn to do his.
That is, until the next opportunity arises.
I just had shared Christ with a coworker.
Don't get me wrong. I have shared my faith plenty of times, but usually it was in the context of one of the following:
- a mission trip
- a church function
- a religious conversation where the topic happened to come up
I had been praying for "Amy" since she started working in the same office as me a few months prior. I talked about church and tried to be the best example I could be, in the hopes a topic about God would come up. I had tried to build a relationship with her, hoping that the better we got to know one another, the better opportunity I would have. Interestingly, the more we worked together, the harder it became.
Yet lately God has been making me really uncomfortable with my laissez-faire attitude about sharing Christ. Jesus didn't wait for opportunities. He initiated conversations. He didn't tell his disciples to be a good witness because they might be the only Bible some might read. He told them to go and tell.
Yet this conviction didn't make all my fear disappear. Recently I had to take my husband in for a surgical procedure. True to my introvert nature, I just wanted to study for my next lesson I would be teaching at church and maybe read a magazine. My plans did not involve being ready to share my faith with the hospital worker who wanted to small-talk. Perfect opportunity. And just like Jonah, I ran the other way.
After intense conviction over this lost opportunity, I repented and asked God to give me the opportunity to initiate a conversation with Amy, my coworker. Still fearful, I was determined to obey this time.
Before heading to work this morning, I received a text that the other coworker who is in the office with Amy and me wouldn't be coming in. I then realized that Amy and I would be alone in the office. God brought to mind phrases from Ephesians 6 I had read this morning. "Stand firm...with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace." "Pray that I may declare [the gospel] fearlessly." And to top it all off, a song came on the radio at that moment with the words "Don't forget why you're here."
So at the first opportunity, butterflies and all, I shared with Amy. She was receptive, and although she hasn't made a decision yet, I pray for her, that she will come to know Christ's saving grace.
And as the butterflies started to calm, I was at peace. I obeyed. I did my part. Now it's the Holy Spirit's turn to do his.
That is, until the next opportunity arises.
Miracles
Do you ever read about the life of Jesus and wonder why we don't see miracles like that today? Everywhere Jesus went, he preached and healed. And healed. And healed. I'm sure there are many reasons why a big portion of Jesus' mission was healing, but today I am struck with one.
Mark 6:5-6 says, "He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. And he was amazed at their lack of faith."
Out of all the places Jesus preached and healed, the one place in which he didn't heal many people was his hometown. These people simply couldn't believe in him. They had seen him grow up. They knew his mother. They knew his brothers and sisters. They couldn't get past the facts to see the clear miracles this man was doing.
Because of their lack of faith, they didn't see miracles.
Sometimes we also can't get past the obvious facts to be able to see the miracles performed in our midst.
In the case of my father-in-law, we have a hard time seeing past the facts. The tumor is inoperable. The chemotherapy nor radiation has eliminated the tumor. His body is taking an incredible toll from this over 2 year fight.
Yet the miracles are there. My mother-in-law could list many more but here are the ones I have witnessed. Last fall, I had to see a specialist, the same one who initially diagnosed Mike's liver tumor. His nurse remembered Mike, even over a year later, and asked how my husband was doing. I quickly corrected her, saying, "No, my father-in-law." After talking with her, I realized she hadn't made a mistake. She was asking how my husband was coping. When I told her my father-in-law was still in the fight, I'll never forget the joyous shock on her face.
Then this June I was in the emergency room with the family when Mike was taken in with some very frightening symptoms. I saw the faces of the ER doctors that my mother-in-law had been describing for the past two years. No one expected him to make it out of that hospital. The look in their eyes told it all.
Yes, God is performing miracles. Even miracles of healing. Perhaps not the healing where he is cancer free, but healing nonetheless. And God is gaining the glory in countless ways. He is gaining glory through my mother-in-law's blog as she shares their fight, their struggle, and every prayer need that's met. He is gaining glory through the love shown by the church, their local one and the body of believers around the country.
And really, isn't that what miracles are always all about anyway? Giving glory to God? Whether it be in my family's fight or in Jesus's earthly ministry, the whole purpose is to point to God, the one who loves us all and gave his only Son Jesus to save us from our sins that destine us to eternal hell.
The one who has so much love that He will allow his precious children to suffer like this in order to bring others to His saving grace. I'll tell you, I'd have an awful hard time allowing my child to suffer for someone else's benefit, but that's exactly what God is doing.
I'm convinced as long as God keeps granting miracles in Mike's life, there is at least one more person God is pursuing. Maybe it's you?
And you betcha, I'm praying for the ultimate miracle in Mike's earthly life.
Mark 6:5-6 says, "He could not do any miracles there, except lay his hands on a few sick people and heal them. And he was amazed at their lack of faith."
Out of all the places Jesus preached and healed, the one place in which he didn't heal many people was his hometown. These people simply couldn't believe in him. They had seen him grow up. They knew his mother. They knew his brothers and sisters. They couldn't get past the facts to see the clear miracles this man was doing.
Because of their lack of faith, they didn't see miracles.
Sometimes we also can't get past the obvious facts to be able to see the miracles performed in our midst.
In the case of my father-in-law, we have a hard time seeing past the facts. The tumor is inoperable. The chemotherapy nor radiation has eliminated the tumor. His body is taking an incredible toll from this over 2 year fight.
Yet the miracles are there. My mother-in-law could list many more but here are the ones I have witnessed. Last fall, I had to see a specialist, the same one who initially diagnosed Mike's liver tumor. His nurse remembered Mike, even over a year later, and asked how my husband was doing. I quickly corrected her, saying, "No, my father-in-law." After talking with her, I realized she hadn't made a mistake. She was asking how my husband was coping. When I told her my father-in-law was still in the fight, I'll never forget the joyous shock on her face.
Then this June I was in the emergency room with the family when Mike was taken in with some very frightening symptoms. I saw the faces of the ER doctors that my mother-in-law had been describing for the past two years. No one expected him to make it out of that hospital. The look in their eyes told it all.
Yes, God is performing miracles. Even miracles of healing. Perhaps not the healing where he is cancer free, but healing nonetheless. And God is gaining the glory in countless ways. He is gaining glory through my mother-in-law's blog as she shares their fight, their struggle, and every prayer need that's met. He is gaining glory through the love shown by the church, their local one and the body of believers around the country.
And really, isn't that what miracles are always all about anyway? Giving glory to God? Whether it be in my family's fight or in Jesus's earthly ministry, the whole purpose is to point to God, the one who loves us all and gave his only Son Jesus to save us from our sins that destine us to eternal hell.
The one who has so much love that He will allow his precious children to suffer like this in order to bring others to His saving grace. I'll tell you, I'd have an awful hard time allowing my child to suffer for someone else's benefit, but that's exactly what God is doing.
I'm convinced as long as God keeps granting miracles in Mike's life, there is at least one more person God is pursuing. Maybe it's you?
And you betcha, I'm praying for the ultimate miracle in Mike's earthly life.
Aunt Lenora
While getting dressed this Monday morning, I couldn't help but feel a little excited about today. I was going to a funeral. Yes, I know what you're thinking, but this was going to be no ordinary memorial service for me. My dad's aunt, Lenora Gray, went to be with her Savior, and we were going to be celebrating her past life on earth and her present life in heaven. I only had the pleasure of visiting with this godly woman a few times growing up, but she always impressed me as a gracious, God-fearing lady.
As I anticipated the service, the memory of her husband's funeral 13 years ago was still fresh in my mind. Uncle Herman's service was one of the most meaningful funerals I had ever attended. It was a celebration. After a fight with cancer, my godly uncle received the ultimate healing, and to a bystander his service would have appeared more like a worship service than a memorial. At 16 years of age, it impacted me.
And today, I was sure I would experience another celebration, of a Christ-follower passing from this life to the life Christ bought for her and for us all.
In the busyness of life, we need to be reminded that this life will end. We need to be challenged to tarry on for works that will endure for eternity. We need to be prodded to think about what legacy we will leave. Perhaps we should even reflect on what we anticipate our own funeral being like.
I, for one, want my funeral to be like Uncle Herman's and Aunt Lenora's. Where you can't tell the difference between it and a worship service. Where the saving Gospel of Jesus Christ is preached. Where God is glorified. Where my family, though they will miss me, will praise Jesus that we have hope of spending eternity together in the presence of the One who created us all.
"Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints" (Psalm 116:15)
As I anticipated the service, the memory of her husband's funeral 13 years ago was still fresh in my mind. Uncle Herman's service was one of the most meaningful funerals I had ever attended. It was a celebration. After a fight with cancer, my godly uncle received the ultimate healing, and to a bystander his service would have appeared more like a worship service than a memorial. At 16 years of age, it impacted me.
And today, I was sure I would experience another celebration, of a Christ-follower passing from this life to the life Christ bought for her and for us all.
In the busyness of life, we need to be reminded that this life will end. We need to be challenged to tarry on for works that will endure for eternity. We need to be prodded to think about what legacy we will leave. Perhaps we should even reflect on what we anticipate our own funeral being like.
I, for one, want my funeral to be like Uncle Herman's and Aunt Lenora's. Where you can't tell the difference between it and a worship service. Where the saving Gospel of Jesus Christ is preached. Where God is glorified. Where my family, though they will miss me, will praise Jesus that we have hope of spending eternity together in the presence of the One who created us all.
"Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints" (Psalm 116:15)
God Alone
Focal Verse: "I am the LORD; that is my name! I will not give my glory to another" (Isaiah 42:8).
I wonder sometimes if we don't see present-day miracles, because we don't have the faith to ask God for the otherwise impossible?
I started pondering this as I was working through my anger at God when a surgery to remove my father-in-law's tumor was unsuccessful last fall. We all thought this was the answer. I for one was sure that God was going to use this surgery to heal him. When that didn't happen, I was shocked. Confused. Angry. Then as I was working through my emotions, the verse in Isaiah crossed my mind: "I will not give my glory to another." I thought maybe, just maybe, God was waiting until every medical method had been exhausted, so that when Mike is healed, there would be no mistaking that God was the healer.
While I obviously can't predict the future, nor conclude that this will be the case in my father-in-law's situation, I started pondering the words of this verse in light of many other situations in life, and I started to see a central truth.
Perhaps we don't see - or even ask for - God's miracles, because we expect God to work alongside an earthly solution.
Instead of praying that God will heal a dead marriage, we buy self-help books, even Christian ones. But when the other partner doesn't want any part of the new book we found, we give up. We assume God just isn't going to intervene on this one.
Instead of praying that God will revive our church, we come up with new programs that we know will grow our numbers. But when these programs didn't yield the results, we assume we picked the wrong programs, or that someone didn't do his job.
Instead of praying that God will heal a relationship, we go to other friends to get their opinions on what we should do. But when all that does is give us another shoulder to cry on but no real results, we give up on the relationship and hold on to our bitterness.
You see, I'm convinced that we pray about lots of things, but how many times do we expect that God alone will answer. Not God along with our new book. Not God along with our new programs. Not God along with our friends. Now, I'm not saying that God can't use these things. Certainly he can and does. I'm simply wanting to point out what I have found to be true in my own wavering faith. When I pray, I am looking for the answer in other things, and either God will enable those to work, or God is my back-up plan. God is rarely THE solution I expect.
I am reminded of the story with the great prophet Elijah in 1 Kings 18. Elijah had a contest with the prophets of Baal to see which god would burn up their sacrifice with fire. After the prophets of Baal saw no results from their god, it was Elijah's turn. What is remarkable about this story is that Elijah had 4 jars full of water poured on the sacrifice, so that when God consumed the offering with fire, there was no doubt that it was God alone who performed this miracle.
Look at the prayer Elijah prays after the offering is drenched with water: "Answer me, O LORD, answer me, so these people will know that you, O LORD, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again" (verse 37). Elijah knew that there was a higher purpose to this miracle. Not only would the people see the glory of God, but they would also know that this God wanted a relationship with his people again.
After the fire not only consumed the offering but also all the water, soil, and stones around it, the people believed: "When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, 'The LORD -he is God! The LORD -he is God!' (verse 39)"
There was no doubt that God was the author of this miracle, and God used this miracle to turn his people back to him.
Oh, that I could have the faith of Elijah. That I would boldly pray for a miracle that would bring glory to God and people to faith in him. That I would expect God to answer in a miraculous way. And that if, even if I step out in bold faith, God chooses to say "no" or "not now" to my request, that I would simply trust in him and not get discouraged. That I would continue approaching his throne of grace, and that I would be sensitive to when he prompts me to pray for a miracle that would reveal his glory.
That I would have faith in God alone.
I wonder sometimes if we don't see present-day miracles, because we don't have the faith to ask God for the otherwise impossible?
I started pondering this as I was working through my anger at God when a surgery to remove my father-in-law's tumor was unsuccessful last fall. We all thought this was the answer. I for one was sure that God was going to use this surgery to heal him. When that didn't happen, I was shocked. Confused. Angry. Then as I was working through my emotions, the verse in Isaiah crossed my mind: "I will not give my glory to another." I thought maybe, just maybe, God was waiting until every medical method had been exhausted, so that when Mike is healed, there would be no mistaking that God was the healer.
While I obviously can't predict the future, nor conclude that this will be the case in my father-in-law's situation, I started pondering the words of this verse in light of many other situations in life, and I started to see a central truth.
Perhaps we don't see - or even ask for - God's miracles, because we expect God to work alongside an earthly solution.
Instead of praying that God will heal a dead marriage, we buy self-help books, even Christian ones. But when the other partner doesn't want any part of the new book we found, we give up. We assume God just isn't going to intervene on this one.
Instead of praying that God will revive our church, we come up with new programs that we know will grow our numbers. But when these programs didn't yield the results, we assume we picked the wrong programs, or that someone didn't do his job.
Instead of praying that God will heal a relationship, we go to other friends to get their opinions on what we should do. But when all that does is give us another shoulder to cry on but no real results, we give up on the relationship and hold on to our bitterness.
You see, I'm convinced that we pray about lots of things, but how many times do we expect that God alone will answer. Not God along with our new book. Not God along with our new programs. Not God along with our friends. Now, I'm not saying that God can't use these things. Certainly he can and does. I'm simply wanting to point out what I have found to be true in my own wavering faith. When I pray, I am looking for the answer in other things, and either God will enable those to work, or God is my back-up plan. God is rarely THE solution I expect.
I am reminded of the story with the great prophet Elijah in 1 Kings 18. Elijah had a contest with the prophets of Baal to see which god would burn up their sacrifice with fire. After the prophets of Baal saw no results from their god, it was Elijah's turn. What is remarkable about this story is that Elijah had 4 jars full of water poured on the sacrifice, so that when God consumed the offering with fire, there was no doubt that it was God alone who performed this miracle.
Look at the prayer Elijah prays after the offering is drenched with water: "Answer me, O LORD, answer me, so these people will know that you, O LORD, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again" (verse 37). Elijah knew that there was a higher purpose to this miracle. Not only would the people see the glory of God, but they would also know that this God wanted a relationship with his people again.
After the fire not only consumed the offering but also all the water, soil, and stones around it, the people believed: "When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, 'The LORD -he is God! The LORD -he is God!' (verse 39)"
There was no doubt that God was the author of this miracle, and God used this miracle to turn his people back to him.
Oh, that I could have the faith of Elijah. That I would boldly pray for a miracle that would bring glory to God and people to faith in him. That I would expect God to answer in a miraculous way. And that if, even if I step out in bold faith, God chooses to say "no" or "not now" to my request, that I would simply trust in him and not get discouraged. That I would continue approaching his throne of grace, and that I would be sensitive to when he prompts me to pray for a miracle that would reveal his glory.
That I would have faith in God alone.
A Different Perspective on Repentance
I have to be honest. This is not one of those blog posts where you read the first few lines and then your curiosity is heightened to where you just have to read more. This is instead a blog post of a subject that has been steadily on my heart for the past few weeks, and I feel I must share. If it makes a difference to just one person, it's worth it.
If a survey were conducted in Christian circles as to what comes to mind when the word "repentance" is mentioned, what do you think would be the most common answer? I feel we tend to think of the unsaved accepting the saving grace of Jesus Christ by repenting of their sins. We might also think that it's a process that Christians who have "backslidden" come to when they rededicate their lives.
While those are certainly true, I think we miss so much by limiting repentance in that way. A lifestyle of repentance should be an active part of every Christian's daily life.
Let me explain.
I'm a perfectionist when it comes to some things, especially my Christian walk. I want to do everything right and leave no room for error. I recently realized that this attitude was a hindrance to my walk.
You see, in the past, whenever I realized I had sinned, my unconscious thought process went something like this, "That was wrong, I need to do better next time." Rarely did I find myself going to God and confessing, let alone repenting. Looking back on that, I was no better than a Pharisee, trying to earn the jewels on my crown by works. I kept washing the outside clean, but my inside wasn't cleansed.
Second Corinthians 7:9 says it perfectly: "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death."
So how do we live a life of repentance? Although I'm still learning this myself, I start with coming to God with the specific sin of which he has convicted me. I confess that this sin (an ungodly thought, a word, an action, a mindset) is a sin against God. Then I ask him to cleanse me of this sin and show me what the godly thought, word, action, or mindset should have been.
The amazing thing about repentance is that through it, God changes me. I'm no longer trying to live in my own strength but instead by the Spirit living in me.
Another benefit of a lifestyle of repentance is godly humility. If I am coming to God on a regular basis with how I have sinned against him, my mindset toward others changes. I don't pass judgement on them. Instead I see both of us as sinners in need of repentance. If I feel led to confront a brother or sister in Christ like Matthew 18 says ("If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over."), I can do it in love and grace.
Repentance. I believe it truly is the beginning of a Christian's life being transformed on a daily basis. And it yields eternal fruit, not only in our lives, but also in the lives of those around us.
If a survey were conducted in Christian circles as to what comes to mind when the word "repentance" is mentioned, what do you think would be the most common answer? I feel we tend to think of the unsaved accepting the saving grace of Jesus Christ by repenting of their sins. We might also think that it's a process that Christians who have "backslidden" come to when they rededicate their lives.
While those are certainly true, I think we miss so much by limiting repentance in that way. A lifestyle of repentance should be an active part of every Christian's daily life.
Let me explain.
I'm a perfectionist when it comes to some things, especially my Christian walk. I want to do everything right and leave no room for error. I recently realized that this attitude was a hindrance to my walk.
You see, in the past, whenever I realized I had sinned, my unconscious thought process went something like this, "That was wrong, I need to do better next time." Rarely did I find myself going to God and confessing, let alone repenting. Looking back on that, I was no better than a Pharisee, trying to earn the jewels on my crown by works. I kept washing the outside clean, but my inside wasn't cleansed.
Second Corinthians 7:9 says it perfectly: "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death."
So how do we live a life of repentance? Although I'm still learning this myself, I start with coming to God with the specific sin of which he has convicted me. I confess that this sin (an ungodly thought, a word, an action, a mindset) is a sin against God. Then I ask him to cleanse me of this sin and show me what the godly thought, word, action, or mindset should have been.
The amazing thing about repentance is that through it, God changes me. I'm no longer trying to live in my own strength but instead by the Spirit living in me.
Another benefit of a lifestyle of repentance is godly humility. If I am coming to God on a regular basis with how I have sinned against him, my mindset toward others changes. I don't pass judgement on them. Instead I see both of us as sinners in need of repentance. If I feel led to confront a brother or sister in Christ like Matthew 18 says ("If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over."), I can do it in love and grace.
Repentance. I believe it truly is the beginning of a Christian's life being transformed on a daily basis. And it yields eternal fruit, not only in our lives, but also in the lives of those around us.
Gifts
I am a huge fan of gift registries. Every time I hear of a wedding or a baby shower, I immediately ask, "Where are they registered?" If someone dares not register for their big event, I'm lost.
Along the same line, when I finally got that diamond on my left hand and that stick turned pink, I counted the days til I could register for my big event. Especially as a young bride, I couldn't wait to see who got what off my registry.
It was beyond my imagination that someone would choose not to buy off a registry. So for a wedding gift, when I received this 2-quart round casserole dish with a plastic cover, my first [incredibly spoiled brat selfish] thought was, "but didn't you see that I registered for a different casserole dish?"
The same thing happened 5 years later when I was expecting Drew. Though a little more mature and appreciative of each gift chosen for me, I was simply perplexed when I opened the gift and discovered UNSCENTED Huggies baby wash and lotion. Are you kidding? I wanted my baby smelling so good that people would want to hold him just to smell him. What in the world was I going to do with UNSCENTED baby wash and lotion? (Eventually, having never opened neither, I ended up giving the baby wash to Matt when he ran out of shampoo for the dogs.)
The lotion was a different story, much like the casserole dish. The casserole dish ended up being an item I have used consistently for 8 years. Long after the glasses on my registry had broken, the color schemes in my bathrooms have changed, and the theme in my kitchen had switched, my trusty casserole dish has been true to me the whole time.
And the lotion turned out to be a life-saver. When Drew was a young toddler, he started itching from eczema, especially at night. I tried the lotions Drew's pediatrician recommended, but they didn't take care of the problem. Oatmeal baths seemed to help a little but still didn't get him through the night. Finally, in my desperation, I turned to the UNSCENTED Huggies lotion, and voila, Drew could sleep the entire night without itching. All thanks to someone who chose not to check my registry.
Aren't we like that with God sometimes? We think we know exactly what we need, so we give him our requests. Then we're disappointed, and sometimes angry, when he doesn't go right by our list.
What we don't realize, sometimes til much later and maybe sometimes never, is that God always has a reason for everything he does...or chooses not to do.
In June 2005 I asked God to allow me to conceive a child. He didn't answer my prayer until December of that year because he used that time to show me how to pray for my Drew, even before he was conceived.
I asked God to grant my dreams of a powerful women's ministry, but instead he gave me a small mom's group in my church, because he knew I would implode under the pressure of a large ministry, and I had - and still have - a lot of maturing to do.
I asked God to give me the friendship I wanted with someone, but instead he chose to point out several flaws in myself that wouldn't have been revealed in one of my friendships that just "clicked." He taught me that if I work hard at relationships that aren't so "easy," he can create a love that I could have never imagined and that above all, glorifies him.
"Every good and perfect gift comes from above" (James 1:17). God will not deny us our requests unless there is a greater purpose - a purpose to glorify him and a purpose that is better for us. And truly, those two purposes are one in the same for a child of God.
So, every time I use my casserole dish or smooth the unscented lotion on Drew's skin, I am reminded that God doesn't always give me everything that I ask. Like any good Father, he wants us to come to him with our requests, but we must trust that if he is silent on a request, he has a greater plan.
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen" (Ephesians 3:20-21).
Along the same line, when I finally got that diamond on my left hand and that stick turned pink, I counted the days til I could register for my big event. Especially as a young bride, I couldn't wait to see who got what off my registry.
It was beyond my imagination that someone would choose not to buy off a registry. So for a wedding gift, when I received this 2-quart round casserole dish with a plastic cover, my first [incredibly spoiled brat selfish] thought was, "but didn't you see that I registered for a different casserole dish?"
The same thing happened 5 years later when I was expecting Drew. Though a little more mature and appreciative of each gift chosen for me, I was simply perplexed when I opened the gift and discovered UNSCENTED Huggies baby wash and lotion. Are you kidding? I wanted my baby smelling so good that people would want to hold him just to smell him. What in the world was I going to do with UNSCENTED baby wash and lotion? (Eventually, having never opened neither, I ended up giving the baby wash to Matt when he ran out of shampoo for the dogs.)
The lotion was a different story, much like the casserole dish. The casserole dish ended up being an item I have used consistently for 8 years. Long after the glasses on my registry had broken, the color schemes in my bathrooms have changed, and the theme in my kitchen had switched, my trusty casserole dish has been true to me the whole time.
And the lotion turned out to be a life-saver. When Drew was a young toddler, he started itching from eczema, especially at night. I tried the lotions Drew's pediatrician recommended, but they didn't take care of the problem. Oatmeal baths seemed to help a little but still didn't get him through the night. Finally, in my desperation, I turned to the UNSCENTED Huggies lotion, and voila, Drew could sleep the entire night without itching. All thanks to someone who chose not to check my registry.
Aren't we like that with God sometimes? We think we know exactly what we need, so we give him our requests. Then we're disappointed, and sometimes angry, when he doesn't go right by our list.
What we don't realize, sometimes til much later and maybe sometimes never, is that God always has a reason for everything he does...or chooses not to do.
In June 2005 I asked God to allow me to conceive a child. He didn't answer my prayer until December of that year because he used that time to show me how to pray for my Drew, even before he was conceived.
I asked God to grant my dreams of a powerful women's ministry, but instead he gave me a small mom's group in my church, because he knew I would implode under the pressure of a large ministry, and I had - and still have - a lot of maturing to do.
I asked God to give me the friendship I wanted with someone, but instead he chose to point out several flaws in myself that wouldn't have been revealed in one of my friendships that just "clicked." He taught me that if I work hard at relationships that aren't so "easy," he can create a love that I could have never imagined and that above all, glorifies him.
"Every good and perfect gift comes from above" (James 1:17). God will not deny us our requests unless there is a greater purpose - a purpose to glorify him and a purpose that is better for us. And truly, those two purposes are one in the same for a child of God.
So, every time I use my casserole dish or smooth the unscented lotion on Drew's skin, I am reminded that God doesn't always give me everything that I ask. Like any good Father, he wants us to come to him with our requests, but we must trust that if he is silent on a request, he has a greater plan.
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen" (Ephesians 3:20-21).
Walking on Water, Part 2
When the phone rang, I was filled with nervous anticipation. My husband was searching for a job after his second layoff, and he had just taken a test for the one company that could keep us in Russellville with all of our family. I was so hopeful for good news.
After all, at the moment, pain was all around me. I was in a Florida hotel room accompanying my mother-in-law to her step-father's funeral. This sudden death added to the pain our family was experiencing with my father-in-law's fight with cancer. I was so hopeful that this phone call would bring a light to our darkness.
But my hopes were shattered as soon as I heard Matt's voice. He didn't know the results, but he was sure he didn't pass. In that phone call, our hopes for staying in our hometown, being near our family, and building our home, were slipping away.
I went to take a shower before the visitation, and I couldn't help but sob and sob. I didn't understand. Why were all these things happening at once? Why couldn't we have gotten some good news? Had God forgotten about us? Did he still have a plan? Why did he seem so silent? At that moment, the faith I had worked so hard to maintain over the months was crumbling.
And there I was. With nothing else left to cling to. Except the one thing I couldn't let go of.
Thankfully, in the midst of it all, I couldn't forget Who my God is. I couldn't forget his promises. His character. His love. His provision. I learned that when I fixed my eyes on him, and him alone, the circumstances around me seemed to get dimmer in the shadow of his light.
What I experienced in my heart that day is what I think Peter experienced when he walked on the water with Jesus.
"'Come,' [Jesus] said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, 'Lord, save me!'" (Matthew 14:29-30)
According to the first part of this verse, Peter walked on the water with no problem. He had his eyes on Jesus. The reality of his circumstances - the fierce wind and waves - were not a question in his mind at that point. All that mattered was that he saw Jesus, he was walking to Jesus, and he trusted Jesus.
But then things changed. Peter became aware of his reality. Most translations of this verse I read say that Peter "saw" the wind. If Peter saw the wind, then his eyes weren't fixed on Jesus. They were fixed on his circumstances, and he panicked. He found himself sinking.
One interesting thing to note is that the wind didn't stop when Peter was walking on water. The difference in his condition was where his eyes were fixed. When they were fixed on Jesus, his circumstances didn't change. The wind was howling and the waves were threatening. But because his eyes were on Jesus, he didn't sink.
Similarly, when we fix our eyes on Jesus, our circumstances don't automatically improve. Jesus doesn't always calm the storm immediately. But when our focus is on him, our perspective changes. He gives us the strength to overcome, and he walks us through it. Then, in his time, and whether it be in this life or in Heaven, Jesus will take us in the boat and the wind will stop.
A few weeks after Matt took his test, he got a letter that he - miraculously - passsed his test and eventually got the job. Jesus had taken us into the boat and this storm had calmed.
But I will never forget that day when the wind and waves were so fierce that all I could do to keep from sinking was look to my Jesus.
After all, at the moment, pain was all around me. I was in a Florida hotel room accompanying my mother-in-law to her step-father's funeral. This sudden death added to the pain our family was experiencing with my father-in-law's fight with cancer. I was so hopeful that this phone call would bring a light to our darkness.
But my hopes were shattered as soon as I heard Matt's voice. He didn't know the results, but he was sure he didn't pass. In that phone call, our hopes for staying in our hometown, being near our family, and building our home, were slipping away.
I went to take a shower before the visitation, and I couldn't help but sob and sob. I didn't understand. Why were all these things happening at once? Why couldn't we have gotten some good news? Had God forgotten about us? Did he still have a plan? Why did he seem so silent? At that moment, the faith I had worked so hard to maintain over the months was crumbling.
And there I was. With nothing else left to cling to. Except the one thing I couldn't let go of.
Thankfully, in the midst of it all, I couldn't forget Who my God is. I couldn't forget his promises. His character. His love. His provision. I learned that when I fixed my eyes on him, and him alone, the circumstances around me seemed to get dimmer in the shadow of his light.
What I experienced in my heart that day is what I think Peter experienced when he walked on the water with Jesus.
"'Come,' [Jesus] said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, 'Lord, save me!'" (Matthew 14:29-30)
According to the first part of this verse, Peter walked on the water with no problem. He had his eyes on Jesus. The reality of his circumstances - the fierce wind and waves - were not a question in his mind at that point. All that mattered was that he saw Jesus, he was walking to Jesus, and he trusted Jesus.
But then things changed. Peter became aware of his reality. Most translations of this verse I read say that Peter "saw" the wind. If Peter saw the wind, then his eyes weren't fixed on Jesus. They were fixed on his circumstances, and he panicked. He found himself sinking.
One interesting thing to note is that the wind didn't stop when Peter was walking on water. The difference in his condition was where his eyes were fixed. When they were fixed on Jesus, his circumstances didn't change. The wind was howling and the waves were threatening. But because his eyes were on Jesus, he didn't sink.
Similarly, when we fix our eyes on Jesus, our circumstances don't automatically improve. Jesus doesn't always calm the storm immediately. But when our focus is on him, our perspective changes. He gives us the strength to overcome, and he walks us through it. Then, in his time, and whether it be in this life or in Heaven, Jesus will take us in the boat and the wind will stop.
A few weeks after Matt took his test, he got a letter that he - miraculously - passsed his test and eventually got the job. Jesus had taken us into the boat and this storm had calmed.
But I will never forget that day when the wind and waves were so fierce that all I could do to keep from sinking was look to my Jesus.
Walking on Water, Part 1
I remember the night vividly. It was spring of last year, and I was sitting in the chair beside Drew's crib, waiting for him to fall asleep. The praise songs that calmed Drew for sleep were echoing in the room, almost mocking how I was feeling at the moment.
My husband had been laid off for the second time in four months, and we were clueless about what God wanted for us. The faith that had seen me through the first layoff was faltering. I couldn't see which way to go, and I definitely couldn't see God anywhere in sight. It felt as if he had just left us there in our situation, all alone.
This must have been what the disciples had felt after Jesus had fed the five thousand and then sent the them across the sea on a boat. When Jesus still hadn't joined them between 3 a.m. and 6 a.m., the disciples were afraid and worried. Not only was it the wee hours of the morning, but the wind was also causing the boat to rock and sway. They were fearful and probably confused. After all, they were on the water because this was what Jesus had told them to do, and they had followed his instructions.
Little did they know that Jesus was going to come through for them and perform a miracle right before their frightened eyes.
If Jesus had walked on water during the daytime and in calm seas, would the disciples have experienced the full effect and power of this miracle?
Sometimes we can do exactly what Jesus tells us to do, and stil we find ourselves in the dark, tossed by the wind and waves, with no hint of Jesus in sight. But it's just in this lowest moment where he wants to do a miracle and reveal his full power and presence to us.
Three months after my husband's second layoff, he was blessed with a job better than the previous two. Even though at times we couldn't see God's plan, looking back, his hand never left us. Our faith grew in a way that would have never been possible, had we not been in the storm in the first place.
"But he said to them, 'It is I; don't be afraid.' Then they were willing to take him into the boat, and immediately the boat reached the shore where they were heading" (John 6:20-21).
My husband had been laid off for the second time in four months, and we were clueless about what God wanted for us. The faith that had seen me through the first layoff was faltering. I couldn't see which way to go, and I definitely couldn't see God anywhere in sight. It felt as if he had just left us there in our situation, all alone.
This must have been what the disciples had felt after Jesus had fed the five thousand and then sent the them across the sea on a boat. When Jesus still hadn't joined them between 3 a.m. and 6 a.m., the disciples were afraid and worried. Not only was it the wee hours of the morning, but the wind was also causing the boat to rock and sway. They were fearful and probably confused. After all, they were on the water because this was what Jesus had told them to do, and they had followed his instructions.
Little did they know that Jesus was going to come through for them and perform a miracle right before their frightened eyes.
If Jesus had walked on water during the daytime and in calm seas, would the disciples have experienced the full effect and power of this miracle?
Sometimes we can do exactly what Jesus tells us to do, and stil we find ourselves in the dark, tossed by the wind and waves, with no hint of Jesus in sight. But it's just in this lowest moment where he wants to do a miracle and reveal his full power and presence to us.
Three months after my husband's second layoff, he was blessed with a job better than the previous two. Even though at times we couldn't see God's plan, looking back, his hand never left us. Our faith grew in a way that would have never been possible, had we not been in the storm in the first place.
"But he said to them, 'It is I; don't be afraid.' Then they were willing to take him into the boat, and immediately the boat reached the shore where they were heading" (John 6:20-21).
The Old Box
After three months of living in our new home, I am still unpacking boxes. Yesterday, while cleaning out yet another, I came across a beautiful gold and purple box. Not remembering what was inside, I opened the box, remembering why I never threw it out.
Inside the 8" square box was a hand-written note that said, "Jill, I wanted to get you a little gift for Valentine but did not have a chance to shop. Thanks for your encouraging letters. [Your family is] special. Love you, Pauline S." Beneath the note was an old multi-colored scarf in perfect condition, a maroon and gold beaded necklace, and a box of heart-shaped soaps that must have been older than me.
Miss Pauline was a homebound elderly lady whom I "adopted" as a teenager through "Adopt a Grandparent" at our church. It turns out this never-married lady ended up "adopting" me.
Though we lived just a few miles apart, Miss Pauline and I exchanged letters regularly, and my mom would take me to visit her from time to time. I don't recall what we ever talked about but I do remember how much time and love she invested in me.
I probably didn't really appreciate the gift she gave me that Valentine's Day. But looking back, it was a gift from her heart. In her Christ-like agape love for me, she took from her own belongings to give me this gift. Looking back, this gift was just one example of how she did her best to pour her life into mine.
Though the scarf, necklace, and even the soaps are probably considered antiques by now, Pauline's gift is a tangible reminder for me of how the God wants me to pour my life into others so they will know how great His love truly is.
May I always be reminded of this when I see this old box.
"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" (John 13:35).
Inside the 8" square box was a hand-written note that said, "Jill, I wanted to get you a little gift for Valentine but did not have a chance to shop. Thanks for your encouraging letters. [Your family is] special. Love you, Pauline S." Beneath the note was an old multi-colored scarf in perfect condition, a maroon and gold beaded necklace, and a box of heart-shaped soaps that must have been older than me.
Miss Pauline was a homebound elderly lady whom I "adopted" as a teenager through "Adopt a Grandparent" at our church. It turns out this never-married lady ended up "adopting" me.
Though we lived just a few miles apart, Miss Pauline and I exchanged letters regularly, and my mom would take me to visit her from time to time. I don't recall what we ever talked about but I do remember how much time and love she invested in me.
I probably didn't really appreciate the gift she gave me that Valentine's Day. But looking back, it was a gift from her heart. In her Christ-like agape love for me, she took from her own belongings to give me this gift. Looking back, this gift was just one example of how she did her best to pour her life into mine.
Though the scarf, necklace, and even the soaps are probably considered antiques by now, Pauline's gift is a tangible reminder for me of how the God wants me to pour my life into others so they will know how great His love truly is.
May I always be reminded of this when I see this old box.
"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another" (John 13:35).
Roles in Check
"Father, father! Guess what just happened!" I could barely contain my excitement as I breathed the prayer. I had just had an opportunity to talk to a coworker about Christ. Although it didn't go as far as I'd like, I felt I was still able to make in-roads with this man who was trying to do everything he could to politely refute my beliefs.
I was as giddy as a schoolgirl, telling God about my whole conversation, just like I would tell a friend about an exciting event. Then as I calmed a notch, I'm pretty sure God was chuckling at me. The obvious rushed over me, and if God were sitting beside me in human form, I'm sure he would have said, "Yeah, Jill, I know. I am the one who started that conversation, remember?"
A few months ago, as I was reading in the book of John, I saw another perspective of a familiar story. Jesus' encounter with the woman at the well (John 4) is one we can probably summarize by heart. But when I read this again, I saw something I hadn't seen before. After Jesus told the woman that he was the Christ, she went and told the people of her town about Jesus. Some became believers in him right then. And some went to see him themselves:
"They said to the woman, 'We no longer believe just because of what you said; now we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this man really is the Savior of the world'" (John 4:42).
What was the responsibility of this woman? It was to tell people who Jesus was, period. Her responsibility wasn't to make them believe. Only after personally meeting and hearing Jesus did the people believe in him.
Sometimes it's easy to view our responsibility in evangelism like the President sending troops into battle. It's our job and we are to do it, and we report back our progress. But we don't serve a God who sends us into battle. He goes with us. He empowers us. He gives us the words to say. And HE wins the battle when he convicts hearts and draws people to him. Our job is only to be the vessel, being obedient to the call.
After my conversation with my coworker, I found myself pleading with God, "Father, work in his heart." And I'm sure God was thinking with a smile, "My child, I already have been."
"No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him, and I will raise him up at the last day" (John 6:44).
I was as giddy as a schoolgirl, telling God about my whole conversation, just like I would tell a friend about an exciting event. Then as I calmed a notch, I'm pretty sure God was chuckling at me. The obvious rushed over me, and if God were sitting beside me in human form, I'm sure he would have said, "Yeah, Jill, I know. I am the one who started that conversation, remember?"
A few months ago, as I was reading in the book of John, I saw another perspective of a familiar story. Jesus' encounter with the woman at the well (John 4) is one we can probably summarize by heart. But when I read this again, I saw something I hadn't seen before. After Jesus told the woman that he was the Christ, she went and told the people of her town about Jesus. Some became believers in him right then. And some went to see him themselves:
"They said to the woman, 'We no longer believe just because of what you said; now we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this man really is the Savior of the world'" (John 4:42).
What was the responsibility of this woman? It was to tell people who Jesus was, period. Her responsibility wasn't to make them believe. Only after personally meeting and hearing Jesus did the people believe in him.
Sometimes it's easy to view our responsibility in evangelism like the President sending troops into battle. It's our job and we are to do it, and we report back our progress. But we don't serve a God who sends us into battle. He goes with us. He empowers us. He gives us the words to say. And HE wins the battle when he convicts hearts and draws people to him. Our job is only to be the vessel, being obedient to the call.
After my conversation with my coworker, I found myself pleading with God, "Father, work in his heart." And I'm sure God was thinking with a smile, "My child, I already have been."
"No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him, and I will raise him up at the last day" (John 6:44).
A Personal Encounter
A couple of months ago, I got an email from my friend Tiffany's husband Chris. He asked me to clear my calendar so I could go with Tiffany to a Third Day concert as a surprise for her. (As you can imagine, my calendar was cleared in about 5 minutes!)
I knew of Third Day. Their most recent song "Revelation" is played on the radio all the time and has been a real encouragement to me. Third Day also had many other songs that I had heard throughout the years. But the problem was, I honestly couldn't name one of those songs as I was anticipating that concert.
But then at the concert, I realized the most interesting thing. Almost every song they played I could sing along with. I knew the lyrics by heart. I just never knew the band until I had seen them in person.
After the concert, I noticed on the radio how many Third Day songs were played on a daily basis. A lot of them! But this time each time I listened to one, it was different. I knew the band. I had seen them in person. I couldn't mistake one of their songs for another again.
Isn't that the way some of us are with God? As we live our life, God is speaking all around us, but until we have a personal encounter with him, we won't recognize his voice.
We could be able to quote Bible verses and Bible stories, but until we know the author, it's just like any other historical document.
You see, after I saw Third Day in person, their music came alive. I began to see trends in their music and in their lyrics. I gleaned their central message. I saw their passion.
Similarly, after I had a personal experience with Christ, his "lyrics" came alive. His living Word speaks directly to my heart. All because I have had a personal encounter.
(My prayer is that anyone reading this blog has had a personal encounter with Jesus Christ. It is absolutely life-changing, both here and eternally. We were born sinful and in desperate need for a Savior. God became flesh through Jesus Christ, and he became the sacrifice necessary for our sins. Because of this sacrifice, we can inherit eternal life. Our responsibility is to believe on Jesus Christ as our Savior and make him Lord of our lives. If you haven't done this, I would love to speak to you more about it!)
"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." 1 Corinthians 1:18
I knew of Third Day. Their most recent song "Revelation" is played on the radio all the time and has been a real encouragement to me. Third Day also had many other songs that I had heard throughout the years. But the problem was, I honestly couldn't name one of those songs as I was anticipating that concert.
But then at the concert, I realized the most interesting thing. Almost every song they played I could sing along with. I knew the lyrics by heart. I just never knew the band until I had seen them in person.
After the concert, I noticed on the radio how many Third Day songs were played on a daily basis. A lot of them! But this time each time I listened to one, it was different. I knew the band. I had seen them in person. I couldn't mistake one of their songs for another again.
Isn't that the way some of us are with God? As we live our life, God is speaking all around us, but until we have a personal encounter with him, we won't recognize his voice.
We could be able to quote Bible verses and Bible stories, but until we know the author, it's just like any other historical document.
You see, after I saw Third Day in person, their music came alive. I began to see trends in their music and in their lyrics. I gleaned their central message. I saw their passion.
Similarly, after I had a personal experience with Christ, his "lyrics" came alive. His living Word speaks directly to my heart. All because I have had a personal encounter.
(My prayer is that anyone reading this blog has had a personal encounter with Jesus Christ. It is absolutely life-changing, both here and eternally. We were born sinful and in desperate need for a Savior. God became flesh through Jesus Christ, and he became the sacrifice necessary for our sins. Because of this sacrifice, we can inherit eternal life. Our responsibility is to believe on Jesus Christ as our Savior and make him Lord of our lives. If you haven't done this, I would love to speak to you more about it!)
"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God." 1 Corinthians 1:18
Wait for the Lord
Wait for the Lord. Many verses in the Bible give us this encouragement. Yet when times come where “waiting for the Lord” seems to be the only option left, we might be left to wonder what this exactly means.
Through recent circumstances, I felt God nudging me study the verses commanding us to wait for him. I desired to gain a clearer understanding of what exactly was meant by these verses. My initial findings confused me more. Different Bible versions translate this word “hope” instead of wait. So what is that supposed to mean? Are we supposed to wait or hope?
Through deeper study I saw that the neither “wait” nor “hope” were adequate terms to describe this context. The Amplified Bible gives some examples of what this word actually means: wait and hope for and expect, wait earnestly, wait for and expect, hope and wait eagerly, expectantly wait.
We tend to think of waiting as sitting still. It implies no action. We sit on our hands expecting something to happen. Many times we’re anxious or irritated at the thought of waiting. Sometimes we’re patient. Sometimes we’re not.
But if we’re waiting for the Lord, inactivity is the last thing on His mind. He wants us to be waiting expectantly and earnestly. He wants our focus to be on seeking Him and looking to His Word. Consider Psalm 119:166-169: “I wait for your salvation, O LORD, and I follow your commands. I obey your statutes, for I love them greatly. I obey your precepts and your statutes, for all my ways are known to you. May my cry come before you, O LORD; give me understanding according to your word.” (NIV)
What should our purpose be while we’re waiting expectantly and earnestly for the Lord? Isaiah 26:8 says, “Yes, LORD, walking in the ways of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.”
Many of us are presently waiting for God in different areas of our lives, and we can take to heart that God doesn’t want us idly waiting for Him. He wants us to wait expectantly and earnestly, with hope in the amazing things he has planned.
Through recent circumstances, I felt God nudging me study the verses commanding us to wait for him. I desired to gain a clearer understanding of what exactly was meant by these verses. My initial findings confused me more. Different Bible versions translate this word “hope” instead of wait. So what is that supposed to mean? Are we supposed to wait or hope?
Through deeper study I saw that the neither “wait” nor “hope” were adequate terms to describe this context. The Amplified Bible gives some examples of what this word actually means: wait and hope for and expect, wait earnestly, wait for and expect, hope and wait eagerly, expectantly wait.
We tend to think of waiting as sitting still. It implies no action. We sit on our hands expecting something to happen. Many times we’re anxious or irritated at the thought of waiting. Sometimes we’re patient. Sometimes we’re not.
But if we’re waiting for the Lord, inactivity is the last thing on His mind. He wants us to be waiting expectantly and earnestly. He wants our focus to be on seeking Him and looking to His Word. Consider Psalm 119:166-169: “I wait for your salvation, O LORD, and I follow your commands. I obey your statutes, for I love them greatly. I obey your precepts and your statutes, for all my ways are known to you. May my cry come before you, O LORD; give me understanding according to your word.” (NIV)
What should our purpose be while we’re waiting expectantly and earnestly for the Lord? Isaiah 26:8 says, “Yes, LORD, walking in the ways of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.”
Many of us are presently waiting for God in different areas of our lives, and we can take to heart that God doesn’t want us idly waiting for Him. He wants us to wait expectantly and earnestly, with hope in the amazing things he has planned.
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