A Tale of Three Mother's Days

Focal verse: "It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up." Ephesians 4:11-12

My first Mother's Day was full of excitement and anticipation. I was six months pregnant and felt joy with every kick in my tummy. I had prayed for Drew and couldn't wait until August, when I would welcome him into my arms. My mom and mother-in-law gave me thoughtful gifts for my "first" Mother's Day, and although that little detail escaped my husband, I wasn't letting anything ruin this day. I longed for the next Mother's Day when I would officially be a mommy.


Yet my second Mother's Day was nothing like I expected the year before. After a difficult postpartum period of adjustment and depression, I spent most of Drew's first nine months trying to keep my head above water. Though I loved Drew dearly, I didn't enjoy the "baby" stage. I know many who love the baby stage will gasp at this statement, but I will venture to say it anyway. Most of the time the baby stage bored me. I wanted him to grow up so I could play ball with him, teach him his ABCs, have a conversation with him. So on my second Mother's Day, all I wanted was a break. Guilt encompassed this day like none other. It was my first Mother's Day, for heaven's sake! I should want to be with my child. Instead, I just wanted some alone time. I thought, "What kind of mother am I?" On a day where I was supposed to enjoy the blessings of being a mother, I felt like such a failure.


A year later, my perspective has changed quite a bit. This last year Drew has grown from the crawler to the runner. From the crier to the almost-talker. From the bottle to the fork and spoon. From the stage I didn't care for to the stage I love. When last year all I wanted was a break, this year all I wanted to do is spend time with my precious boy. While last year I felt like such a failure, this year I feel like a pretty good mom.

What changed? I realized that just because I wasn't fond of the baby stage, that didn't mean I was a bad mom. Just because I didn't end up being the kind of mom I expected to be, that doesn't mean that I can't embrace the mom I am.

For any mom reading this, next time you face a time of insecurity (because we all do from time to time), remember that God chose to give you the child you have because no one is better equipped to rear that child than you. And when you face times that go against your natural strengths, know that God will provide for you and your child. For me, God provided my mom and mother-in-law, who were able to fill in where I couldn't. I know that with Drew not even 2 yet, I have lots more stages to go through, and the next time I feel ill-equipped, I'll be able to embrace who I am and allow God to provide the rest.

Who knows what my fourth Mother's Day will bring. God-willing, I'll look at my 2 1/2 year old with all of the love in my heart, and then glance at another baby bump and know that with God's help, I will get through the baby stage once again. But this time, I won't have any doubt that I am a pretty good mom.