Completely Trustworthy

Focal Verse: "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD.

Drew and I were walking toward the entrance of Hobby Lobby today, planning to buy the final supplies for Drew's second birthday party, which is in less than a month. As I was pushing him in the stroller, my mind flashed back to almost two years ago, when Drew was two weeks old. I was pushing him in that same stroller, although then he was lying asleep in the infant carrier part of the stroller instead of sitting up facing forward like he did today.

I remember that day like it was yesterday. Drew was calm and softly sleeping. I was able to somewhat live the dream that I had had months before when I chose this particular stroller combination. When I picked out the exact one I wanted online, I was full of excitement and anticipation. I couldn't wait to stroll my baby calmly and quietly wherever I wanted to go. Everyone would "ooh" and "aah" and how precious he would be and I would be the giddy mommy, like it seemed every other new mommy was. Fast forward a few months to that day in Hobby Lobby two years ago. Drew wasn't the calm and quiet baby I expected. Even as I was shopping in Hobby Lobby, I bided my time until he would wake up, because since it seemed he was either sleeping, eating, or crying, when he awoke, I knew I had to have an exit strategy. This wasn't what I expected.

Throw in postpartum hormones, and those first few weeks of Drew's life were the most difficult weeks I had ever experienced in that point of my life. I remember sobbing on my bed one night, asking God why in the world did he answer my prayer for a child. What was he thinking? I was a horrible mom, and frankly, I wanted my old life back. I was so thankful when I discovered that I was pregnant and that God answered my prayer for Drew, but after he was born, I wondered why God hadn't vetoed this request.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. (Isaiah 55:8)

Thankfully in the midst of my depression, I had enough faith to know that God didn't make a mistake. He knew exactly what he was doing, and if that were the case, then surely this whole mommy thing would get better.

And of course, it did. One amazing thing about God is that we can completely trust him. He knows what he's doing. He has a purpose when he speaks. He has a purpose for his silence. He has a purpose when he answers our prayers. He has a purpose when he says "no" or "wait."

He is completely trustworthy even when we think he may have made a mistake. He is completely trustworthy even when we think he must have forgotten about us. He is completely trustworthy even when we don't understand.

God is completely trustworthy. Drew and I are living proof. :)