Focal verse: "As has just been said: "Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion" (Hebrews 3:15)
I am proud to have a mom who was a wonderful teacher of elementary students for over 3 decades. Being a teacher's daughter, I learned many things growing up, but there is one thing in particular I recall. My mom talked about how sometimes some children misbehave in order to gain attention. Even if it's negative attention, it's still attention. While that has always baffled me to some degree, I'm seeing something similar in myself in regard to my relationship with God. It's not that I misbehave to get his attention, but instead that the "negative attention" from God I do get ends up being a blessing.
I can't say enough about the book and Bible study by Priscilla Shirer, Discerning the Voice of God. My relationship with God has grown in a new depth thanks to the Holy Spirit's inspiring of this study. Most of what I've learned so far has been the warm and fuzzy feelings you would associate with having the God of the universe speaking directly to you. But I've also learned that even when God speaks to me when it's something I don't necessarily want to hear, I'm still thankful that he chose to speak.
For example, one day I was about to mumble something about someone's actions that irritated me. Don't say it, Jill; you wouldn't want that said about you. Obviously, that was not necessarily what I wanted to hear because I really wanted to vent. And another time I was seething with anger. Grace has been given to you; exercise grace with others. Again, not what I wanted to hear.
In both instances, I felt, deep down, thankful that God spoke those words to me. It wasn't because of what the words were. It was because he chose to speak to me! And I knew that his motives for speaking these things weren't simply because he is holy and wants me to be holy. I knew that it also stemmed from love. He loves me so much he wants me to be conformed to his Son. And he wants me to live free from the anger that seethed in me. He wants me to live free from the irritation that would have ultimately escalated had I vented the way I wanted.
Yet when he speaks, he demands obedience. As I obeyed his voice in these instances, I could feel his presence and his activity in changing me. Right before my eyes, in these small but significant instances, I was watching me become a little less and him become a little more.
So when it comes to me and God, I'm happy for a little negative attention, as long as I am still hearing his voice.
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