Focal verse: "As has just been said: "Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion" (Hebrews 3:15)
I am proud to have a mom who was a wonderful teacher of elementary students for over 3 decades. Being a teacher's daughter, I learned many things growing up, but there is one thing in particular I recall. My mom talked about how sometimes some children misbehave in order to gain attention. Even if it's negative attention, it's still attention. While that has always baffled me to some degree, I'm seeing something similar in myself in regard to my relationship with God. It's not that I misbehave to get his attention, but instead that the "negative attention" from God I do get ends up being a blessing.
I can't say enough about the book and Bible study by Priscilla Shirer, Discerning the Voice of God. My relationship with God has grown in a new depth thanks to the Holy Spirit's inspiring of this study. Most of what I've learned so far has been the warm and fuzzy feelings you would associate with having the God of the universe speaking directly to you. But I've also learned that even when God speaks to me when it's something I don't necessarily want to hear, I'm still thankful that he chose to speak.
For example, one day I was about to mumble something about someone's actions that irritated me. Don't say it, Jill; you wouldn't want that said about you. Obviously, that was not necessarily what I wanted to hear because I really wanted to vent. And another time I was seething with anger. Grace has been given to you; exercise grace with others. Again, not what I wanted to hear.
In both instances, I felt, deep down, thankful that God spoke those words to me. It wasn't because of what the words were. It was because he chose to speak to me! And I knew that his motives for speaking these things weren't simply because he is holy and wants me to be holy. I knew that it also stemmed from love. He loves me so much he wants me to be conformed to his Son. And he wants me to live free from the anger that seethed in me. He wants me to live free from the irritation that would have ultimately escalated had I vented the way I wanted.
Yet when he speaks, he demands obedience. As I obeyed his voice in these instances, I could feel his presence and his activity in changing me. Right before my eyes, in these small but significant instances, I was watching me become a little less and him become a little more.
So when it comes to me and God, I'm happy for a little negative attention, as long as I am still hearing his voice.
Battling the Enemy
Focal Verse: For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms (Ephesians 6:12).
When I was in high school, my family's whole life revolved around basketball. My dad was the girls' basketball coach, and I was the starting point guard. Needless to say, basketball wasn't another activity. It was a passion.
When our team had a big game coming up against an opponent we had never played before, Dad and I would go "scout" this team as they played another team. We would learn what type of offense they used against different types of defenses. We learned what defenses they used. We learned their successful plays and their most threatening players. We discovered what they were good at and where their weak points were. By learning these things, we could prepare accordingly and mount our best offense and defense against the team. That way, when we played them, we were prepared and weren't caught off guard.
Somewhere in my Christian walk, I was told that sometimes we focus too much on our opponent, Satan, and the enemy's power than we do focusing on Christ and his power inside of us. Although this statement does have some truth, I took it to the extreme. For most of my Christian life, I completely ignored the power of the enemy and his influence in my life. I guess I thought if I ignored it then it didn't exist.
Oh how wrong I was. Thankfully God opened my eyes to the real presence of the enemy. God showed me where the enemy was alive and active in my life. What a disheartening realization, but thankfully, a necessary one. I learned that the enemy knew exactly which cards to play. He knew my weaknesses. He knew what pushed my buttons. He knew what to do to render me ineffective in my Christian walk. He knew how to distract me. Oh how I was such an easy target.
Armed with this newfound revelation, I became more aware of places I needed to be on guard. Specifically, I began to really pray about our Mom's group at church. I have been leading this group for a year and a half, and a couple of weeks ago we started a new study. The first night we had a record number with more and more moms coming. I could see God's hand working in lives of each of us. Yet I knew where God was working, the enemy couldn't be too far behind.
I started praying that God would govern my mouth as I taught. How easy would it have been for one careless word to slip my mouth that could offend someone? I started praying that the other girls' words would be kind to one another so each one would feel included. I prayed about everything within our group I could think of that might threaten the work God was doing.
But obviously I hadn't scouted my opponent because within the group was not where he chose to strike. He chose to strike at the leader in her home. How crafty. Create strife in my home and how can I be focused on leading this group to be more godly moms? You see, last weekend, my husband and I were bickering at every turn. At one point I opened my mouth one too many times and it led to hurt and coldness, but thankfully only for awhile.
I didn't need to be told twice that my struggle is not with flesh and blood. The enemy knows what I can do (or not do) that gets my husband riled up. He knows that Matt has a hard time fighting the temptation to let me know about it. And the enemy also knows how that makes me feel, and on goes the cycle.
Thankfully I was able to stop the cycle by realizing that my struggle wasn't against Matt. My heart softened and I started to see his point of view. As my heart softened, so did his. And we were fine... until the enemy chose to attack us again. But this time I was ready.
What I've learned is ignoring the enemy doesn't mean he isn't there. In my opinion, we're either (1) under attack and are with Christ's help defending against it, (2) under attack and don't realize it, and we're being defeated time and again, or (3) we're not being attacked because we're not a threat to the enemy.
It's not a fun feeling knowing that if I live my life for God, my whole life will be a battle, against the enemy or the sinful nature within me. But thankfully, I have the One who has already won the war on my side, fighting along with me.
When I was in high school, my family's whole life revolved around basketball. My dad was the girls' basketball coach, and I was the starting point guard. Needless to say, basketball wasn't another activity. It was a passion.
When our team had a big game coming up against an opponent we had never played before, Dad and I would go "scout" this team as they played another team. We would learn what type of offense they used against different types of defenses. We learned what defenses they used. We learned their successful plays and their most threatening players. We discovered what they were good at and where their weak points were. By learning these things, we could prepare accordingly and mount our best offense and defense against the team. That way, when we played them, we were prepared and weren't caught off guard.
Somewhere in my Christian walk, I was told that sometimes we focus too much on our opponent, Satan, and the enemy's power than we do focusing on Christ and his power inside of us. Although this statement does have some truth, I took it to the extreme. For most of my Christian life, I completely ignored the power of the enemy and his influence in my life. I guess I thought if I ignored it then it didn't exist.
Oh how wrong I was. Thankfully God opened my eyes to the real presence of the enemy. God showed me where the enemy was alive and active in my life. What a disheartening realization, but thankfully, a necessary one. I learned that the enemy knew exactly which cards to play. He knew my weaknesses. He knew what pushed my buttons. He knew what to do to render me ineffective in my Christian walk. He knew how to distract me. Oh how I was such an easy target.
Armed with this newfound revelation, I became more aware of places I needed to be on guard. Specifically, I began to really pray about our Mom's group at church. I have been leading this group for a year and a half, and a couple of weeks ago we started a new study. The first night we had a record number with more and more moms coming. I could see God's hand working in lives of each of us. Yet I knew where God was working, the enemy couldn't be too far behind.
I started praying that God would govern my mouth as I taught. How easy would it have been for one careless word to slip my mouth that could offend someone? I started praying that the other girls' words would be kind to one another so each one would feel included. I prayed about everything within our group I could think of that might threaten the work God was doing.
But obviously I hadn't scouted my opponent because within the group was not where he chose to strike. He chose to strike at the leader in her home. How crafty. Create strife in my home and how can I be focused on leading this group to be more godly moms? You see, last weekend, my husband and I were bickering at every turn. At one point I opened my mouth one too many times and it led to hurt and coldness, but thankfully only for awhile.
I didn't need to be told twice that my struggle is not with flesh and blood. The enemy knows what I can do (or not do) that gets my husband riled up. He knows that Matt has a hard time fighting the temptation to let me know about it. And the enemy also knows how that makes me feel, and on goes the cycle.
Thankfully I was able to stop the cycle by realizing that my struggle wasn't against Matt. My heart softened and I started to see his point of view. As my heart softened, so did his. And we were fine... until the enemy chose to attack us again. But this time I was ready.
What I've learned is ignoring the enemy doesn't mean he isn't there. In my opinion, we're either (1) under attack and are with Christ's help defending against it, (2) under attack and don't realize it, and we're being defeated time and again, or (3) we're not being attacked because we're not a threat to the enemy.
It's not a fun feeling knowing that if I live my life for God, my whole life will be a battle, against the enemy or the sinful nature within me. But thankfully, I have the One who has already won the war on my side, fighting along with me.
Death to the Overachiever
Focal Verse: "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:30).
The verse above is one of those verses in the Bible that gets us all warm and fuzzy inside. It's the kind of verse we like to memorize and take to heart.
Yet this verse has been one that I've never really experienced. Yes, I knew what it said, but I can recall reading it time and time again, thinking, "I just don't get it." It wasn't until recently when I realized the reason why I knew this verse in my head but not in my heart.
In my almost 18-year Christian walk, I have tried to "do" and "be" everything I thought was expected. When I used my gifts to serve the Lord, or if someone told me I was a blessing in one way or another, I cheered for myself. I had succeeded. On the opposite side, when I was hit with a sinful area I couldn't figure out how to master, I failed. Without realizing it, I was trying to "work" my way to approval from God. An overachiever, I subconsciously planned on "mastering" this Christianity thing once and for all. I struggled with sermons that talked about confessing sin, because I would realize I hadn't confessed of anything in such a long time. Surely I wasn't perfect, but for the life of me, I couldn't think of anything I had done wrong lately. I tried to "do" everything right. Though I knew I was saved by faith, I was living my Christianity by works.
And let me tell you, works wasn't working.
Then God hit me with an amazing revelation: there is nothing good in me. Now, to an overachiever like myself, this could have been a fatal blow. But instead, it brought freedom like none other. Once I realized that there is nothing good in me of myself, I realized that everything good in me is from God. What a relief! Any good I ever hope to be cannot come from myself but from God and His Spirit's work alone.
This revelation brought an amazing new light to the following verse: "Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom" (James 2:12). How can the law give freedom? With all the rules and regulations and the impossible expectations, how could we possibly gain freedom through the law? Because there is no possible way to live up to the law! The FREEDOM is that Jesus Christ through his death and resurrection covered my inability to ever be good enough. The freedom is that the only way I am to ever be all God has for me to be is to recognize that he IS the good in me. Only by dying to myself and allowing him to live in me will I ever please him.
Now the dying to myself isn't so easy sometimes. But at least I'm not trying achieve the impossible anymore. Once I let go of my ambitions to do it all myself, I can be free to let the Holy Spirit do his perfect work in me.
The verse above is one of those verses in the Bible that gets us all warm and fuzzy inside. It's the kind of verse we like to memorize and take to heart.
Yet this verse has been one that I've never really experienced. Yes, I knew what it said, but I can recall reading it time and time again, thinking, "I just don't get it." It wasn't until recently when I realized the reason why I knew this verse in my head but not in my heart.
In my almost 18-year Christian walk, I have tried to "do" and "be" everything I thought was expected. When I used my gifts to serve the Lord, or if someone told me I was a blessing in one way or another, I cheered for myself. I had succeeded. On the opposite side, when I was hit with a sinful area I couldn't figure out how to master, I failed. Without realizing it, I was trying to "work" my way to approval from God. An overachiever, I subconsciously planned on "mastering" this Christianity thing once and for all. I struggled with sermons that talked about confessing sin, because I would realize I hadn't confessed of anything in such a long time. Surely I wasn't perfect, but for the life of me, I couldn't think of anything I had done wrong lately. I tried to "do" everything right. Though I knew I was saved by faith, I was living my Christianity by works.
And let me tell you, works wasn't working.
Then God hit me with an amazing revelation: there is nothing good in me. Now, to an overachiever like myself, this could have been a fatal blow. But instead, it brought freedom like none other. Once I realized that there is nothing good in me of myself, I realized that everything good in me is from God. What a relief! Any good I ever hope to be cannot come from myself but from God and His Spirit's work alone.
This revelation brought an amazing new light to the following verse: "Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom" (James 2:12). How can the law give freedom? With all the rules and regulations and the impossible expectations, how could we possibly gain freedom through the law? Because there is no possible way to live up to the law! The FREEDOM is that Jesus Christ through his death and resurrection covered my inability to ever be good enough. The freedom is that the only way I am to ever be all God has for me to be is to recognize that he IS the good in me. Only by dying to myself and allowing him to live in me will I ever please him.
Now the dying to myself isn't so easy sometimes. But at least I'm not trying achieve the impossible anymore. Once I let go of my ambitions to do it all myself, I can be free to let the Holy Spirit do his perfect work in me.
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