Focal Verse: "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:30).
The verse above is one of those verses in the Bible that gets us all warm and fuzzy inside. It's the kind of verse we like to memorize and take to heart.
Yet this verse has been one that I've never really experienced. Yes, I knew what it said, but I can recall reading it time and time again, thinking, "I just don't get it." It wasn't until recently when I realized the reason why I knew this verse in my head but not in my heart.
In my almost 18-year Christian walk, I have tried to "do" and "be" everything I thought was expected. When I used my gifts to serve the Lord, or if someone told me I was a blessing in one way or another, I cheered for myself. I had succeeded. On the opposite side, when I was hit with a sinful area I couldn't figure out how to master, I failed. Without realizing it, I was trying to "work" my way to approval from God. An overachiever, I subconsciously planned on "mastering" this Christianity thing once and for all. I struggled with sermons that talked about confessing sin, because I would realize I hadn't confessed of anything in such a long time. Surely I wasn't perfect, but for the life of me, I couldn't think of anything I had done wrong lately. I tried to "do" everything right. Though I knew I was saved by faith, I was living my Christianity by works.
And let me tell you, works wasn't working.
Then God hit me with an amazing revelation: there is nothing good in me. Now, to an overachiever like myself, this could have been a fatal blow. But instead, it brought freedom like none other. Once I realized that there is nothing good in me of myself, I realized that everything good in me is from God. What a relief! Any good I ever hope to be cannot come from myself but from God and His Spirit's work alone.
This revelation brought an amazing new light to the following verse: "Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom" (James 2:12). How can the law give freedom? With all the rules and regulations and the impossible expectations, how could we possibly gain freedom through the law? Because there is no possible way to live up to the law! The FREEDOM is that Jesus Christ through his death and resurrection covered my inability to ever be good enough. The freedom is that the only way I am to ever be all God has for me to be is to recognize that he IS the good in me. Only by dying to myself and allowing him to live in me will I ever please him.
Now the dying to myself isn't so easy sometimes. But at least I'm not trying achieve the impossible anymore. Once I let go of my ambitions to do it all myself, I can be free to let the Holy Spirit do his perfect work in me.
Counterfeit Comfort
Focal Verses: "Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters...Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare" (Isaiah 55:1a, 2)
While some people eat for comfort, I drink for comfort. No, not alcohol; my drinks of choice are coffee, diet coke, and sweet tea. In particular, I've found myself in the last few months getting a 32-ounce diet coke during my workday to "comfort" me as I work a long day. What used to be a once-a-week treat turned into an almost every day necessity.
Also a couple of months ago, I found myself feeling very fatigued at work. In the afternoon I was simply run down. Some days I felt like I was battling an illness I was so tired. My husband even jokingly asked if he could declare the lemon law on me because I felt bad all the time.
Sick of feeling sick, I decided to try something. After noticing I was feeling my worst after a string of those "diet coke days," I decided I was going to switch to water. Starting on a Monday, I had a large 32-ounce ice water both in the morning and afternoon. I even added some lemon because I read somewhere that lemon is loaded with vitamin C. That could only be good right?
The difference was immediate. That Monday I was full of energy - even for a Monday! And that whole week I felt like I was back to normal again. It couldn't be that simple, right? Just exchange my diet coke for refreshing ice water?
How often do we do the same thing with our spiritual lives? How often do we try to fill the thirst in our lives with a counterfeit drink?
One of my counterfeit drinks was TV. I had at least one show to watch every night. Every day I looked forward to the show that was on that night. With those shows I could escape my reality and live in another world. They were my comfort. Yet when they were over, I was as empty as I was before, until the next night. Since I have replaced most of my sacred TV shows to other activities in the evenings - ones that are beneficial - I don't even miss it. Sure, my husband and I still indulge in a couple of our favorites, but they are treats for me, not what I depend on for my comfort.
Another counterfeit could be our friends, even Christian friends. If we are leaning on our friends or family with issues we haven't even taken to God, we are expecting them - maybe not consciously - to fill that role of God in our lives. God has used my precious friends in so many ways in my life. But he has at times also taken away their availability to me when he knew I was depending on them too much. He wants us to come to him with all of our thoughts, feelings, dilemmas, and worries. Then, if he chooses to use our friends to speak to us, great! But he is the Wonderful Counselor who needs to be the first one we turn to. And if he chooses to speak to us through our friends, that's just icing on the cake!
Still another counterfeit could be our busyness. As long as we're on the go, doing something, planning something, having something to look forward to, we feel validated. We don't have time to realize our soul is empty. This has been a struggle of mine for as long as I can remember. I'll share what I wrote along these lines in my journal at the end of my Senior year of high school: "It is right now that I feel hopeless; I have a lack of purpose. Throughout the school year I've always had something to look forward to...But now all of that is over." If we are always looking forward to the next thing, that is a sure clue that we're leaning on the wrong thing. If all of our activities and responsibilities were stripped from us, would we find an empty void in our hearts? If so, then we aren't gaining our sustenance from God's Living Water.
These are just a few of my struggles, but I'm sure that we all have our unique counterfeit comforts that we turn to from time to time. It's difficult sometimes to recognize them but if we examine our hearts and pray that God will reveal them to us, we can resist leaning on our counterfeit comfort and instead turn to our God's all-fulfilling comfort.
And once we do that, we open the door to God's living water. The one that will make us never thirst again.
While some people eat for comfort, I drink for comfort. No, not alcohol; my drinks of choice are coffee, diet coke, and sweet tea. In particular, I've found myself in the last few months getting a 32-ounce diet coke during my workday to "comfort" me as I work a long day. What used to be a once-a-week treat turned into an almost every day necessity.
Also a couple of months ago, I found myself feeling very fatigued at work. In the afternoon I was simply run down. Some days I felt like I was battling an illness I was so tired. My husband even jokingly asked if he could declare the lemon law on me because I felt bad all the time.
Sick of feeling sick, I decided to try something. After noticing I was feeling my worst after a string of those "diet coke days," I decided I was going to switch to water. Starting on a Monday, I had a large 32-ounce ice water both in the morning and afternoon. I even added some lemon because I read somewhere that lemon is loaded with vitamin C. That could only be good right?
The difference was immediate. That Monday I was full of energy - even for a Monday! And that whole week I felt like I was back to normal again. It couldn't be that simple, right? Just exchange my diet coke for refreshing ice water?
How often do we do the same thing with our spiritual lives? How often do we try to fill the thirst in our lives with a counterfeit drink?
One of my counterfeit drinks was TV. I had at least one show to watch every night. Every day I looked forward to the show that was on that night. With those shows I could escape my reality and live in another world. They were my comfort. Yet when they were over, I was as empty as I was before, until the next night. Since I have replaced most of my sacred TV shows to other activities in the evenings - ones that are beneficial - I don't even miss it. Sure, my husband and I still indulge in a couple of our favorites, but they are treats for me, not what I depend on for my comfort.
Another counterfeit could be our friends, even Christian friends. If we are leaning on our friends or family with issues we haven't even taken to God, we are expecting them - maybe not consciously - to fill that role of God in our lives. God has used my precious friends in so many ways in my life. But he has at times also taken away their availability to me when he knew I was depending on them too much. He wants us to come to him with all of our thoughts, feelings, dilemmas, and worries. Then, if he chooses to use our friends to speak to us, great! But he is the Wonderful Counselor who needs to be the first one we turn to. And if he chooses to speak to us through our friends, that's just icing on the cake!
Still another counterfeit could be our busyness. As long as we're on the go, doing something, planning something, having something to look forward to, we feel validated. We don't have time to realize our soul is empty. This has been a struggle of mine for as long as I can remember. I'll share what I wrote along these lines in my journal at the end of my Senior year of high school: "It is right now that I feel hopeless; I have a lack of purpose. Throughout the school year I've always had something to look forward to...But now all of that is over." If we are always looking forward to the next thing, that is a sure clue that we're leaning on the wrong thing. If all of our activities and responsibilities were stripped from us, would we find an empty void in our hearts? If so, then we aren't gaining our sustenance from God's Living Water.
These are just a few of my struggles, but I'm sure that we all have our unique counterfeit comforts that we turn to from time to time. It's difficult sometimes to recognize them but if we examine our hearts and pray that God will reveal them to us, we can resist leaning on our counterfeit comfort and instead turn to our God's all-fulfilling comfort.
And once we do that, we open the door to God's living water. The one that will make us never thirst again.
My Center
Focal Verse: "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" (Matthew 6:33).
Sitting down momentarily in my recliner this Sunday afternoon, I started thinking what I needed to do next. Having surprisingly gotten all my housework done, I was about to tackle another thing on my to-do list.
But my two-year-old son Drew was sitting on the bed playing with puzzles, wanting me to come play with him. Conflicted, my heart won out and I crawled up in the bed next to him and we enjoyed the Sunday afternoon together.
Lately, I have been feeling much anxiety regarding to the things I have to do and how I am supposed to do it all. I don't get home from work until after 6:00 every night. Then comes cooking dinner, cleaning up, housework, and hopefully squeezing in some quality time with Drew before it's time to give him a bath and put him to bed. The next thing I know, it's 9:00 and I still haven't studied for my Wednesday night mom's class or my upcoming Sunday night discipleship training class...or discussion questions for my Sunday School class...or writing on this blog...or writing thank-you notes...the list seems never ending. And not to mention, I also haven't spent any quality time with my husband yet.
My life has seemed like one big whirlwind lately. So much to do - so much I WANT to do - yet so little time to squeeze it in.
I recall a metaphor used by Joanna Weaver in her book Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, where she talked about her each of her responsibilities representing a hula hoop, and her challenge was to balance them all and not drop one. How to do it? She said she had to find her "center." Once she found her center, she could balance all her responsibilities. Now, it's easy to think our "center" is Christ, and it is. But I think finding our center goes beyond that. If I look at everything in my life demanding my attention, I don't know how I could put one above another. My role as a wife, my role as a mother, and my role in the ministries God has called me to, each demand their place.
I wasn't sure how I was going to be and do everything needed (and remain sane at that!), so today I started praying, "God, show me how to find my center."
Thankfully, God revealed my first step in the precious eyes of my toddler. While I was trying to decide which task to tackle next today, I couldn't even consider anything but spending my time with Drew. It was through this that God showed me that my priority needs to be to my family, and he will provide time for my other responsibilities.
I know I'm not the only one who struggles with this. I certainly believe we can "do" too much and sometimes need to reconsider what we commit to. But when we're doing everything that we feel called to do - and nothing more - yet we still feel overwhelmed, it's time to find our center.
The oft-quoted passage Philippians 4:13 is true here. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I need to realize that if God has called me, he will equip me. And isn't it just like God to give us a God-sized task so we won't rely on our own abilities to do it? Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12,"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness,' ... For when I am weak, then I am strong" (v. 9a and 10b).
I think one of God's purposes for all of my responsibilities is that I will realize I can't do it all on my own strength. It is only through him and his power that I can find my center.
Sitting down momentarily in my recliner this Sunday afternoon, I started thinking what I needed to do next. Having surprisingly gotten all my housework done, I was about to tackle another thing on my to-do list.
But my two-year-old son Drew was sitting on the bed playing with puzzles, wanting me to come play with him. Conflicted, my heart won out and I crawled up in the bed next to him and we enjoyed the Sunday afternoon together.
Lately, I have been feeling much anxiety regarding to the things I have to do and how I am supposed to do it all. I don't get home from work until after 6:00 every night. Then comes cooking dinner, cleaning up, housework, and hopefully squeezing in some quality time with Drew before it's time to give him a bath and put him to bed. The next thing I know, it's 9:00 and I still haven't studied for my Wednesday night mom's class or my upcoming Sunday night discipleship training class...or discussion questions for my Sunday School class...or writing on this blog...or writing thank-you notes...the list seems never ending. And not to mention, I also haven't spent any quality time with my husband yet.
My life has seemed like one big whirlwind lately. So much to do - so much I WANT to do - yet so little time to squeeze it in.
I recall a metaphor used by Joanna Weaver in her book Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, where she talked about her each of her responsibilities representing a hula hoop, and her challenge was to balance them all and not drop one. How to do it? She said she had to find her "center." Once she found her center, she could balance all her responsibilities. Now, it's easy to think our "center" is Christ, and it is. But I think finding our center goes beyond that. If I look at everything in my life demanding my attention, I don't know how I could put one above another. My role as a wife, my role as a mother, and my role in the ministries God has called me to, each demand their place.
I wasn't sure how I was going to be and do everything needed (and remain sane at that!), so today I started praying, "God, show me how to find my center."
Thankfully, God revealed my first step in the precious eyes of my toddler. While I was trying to decide which task to tackle next today, I couldn't even consider anything but spending my time with Drew. It was through this that God showed me that my priority needs to be to my family, and he will provide time for my other responsibilities.
I know I'm not the only one who struggles with this. I certainly believe we can "do" too much and sometimes need to reconsider what we commit to. But when we're doing everything that we feel called to do - and nothing more - yet we still feel overwhelmed, it's time to find our center.
The oft-quoted passage Philippians 4:13 is true here. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I need to realize that if God has called me, he will equip me. And isn't it just like God to give us a God-sized task so we won't rely on our own abilities to do it? Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12,"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness,' ... For when I am weak, then I am strong" (v. 9a and 10b).
I think one of God's purposes for all of my responsibilities is that I will realize I can't do it all on my own strength. It is only through him and his power that I can find my center.
Flesh Woman
Focal Verses: "What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (Romans 7:24-25a)
Sometimes spiritual growth can be joyous. Sometimes it can be painful. For the past few weeks since writing my blog “Repetition,” I have gone through a growth of the latter kind.
Little did I know that when God laid upon my heart the song, “Empty Me,” he was preparing for something well beyond the scope of the example listed in the “I Get It” blog. I am taking a risk of being transparent in this post in hopes that through my experiences, God may touch you as he did me, albeit the hard way.
Through my prayer of “empty me,” God didn’t spare my feelings when he pointed out some areas in my life that need his transformation. However, in my flawed self, I had quite a bit of trouble with these realizations.
You see, I’ve come to realize that my view of myself isn’t rooted where it should be. Instead of realizing my value because of God’s love for me and his Son’s sacrifice for me, I vary from extreme to extreme. If I feel like I’ve got everything under control and I’m being a “good girl,” I feel on top of the world. But point out a flaw in me, and I fall into a downward spiral. I wonder how in the world have my friends stuck around this long? How has my family put up with me--and even more inconceivably--loved me? And for heaven's sake, who am I to think that I am in any position to be teaching a Bible study?
It’s inconceivable for me to think that God can use me if I have any areas of sin or weakness lurking under the surface. Whereas some people perhaps shy away from any kind of leadership position in the church or ministry for this same reason, I started questioning everything I’ve been doing in that capacity. In either case, it all boils down to one thought. I’m not good enough.
Alas, nothing could be more true. I’m NOT good enough. God doesn’t expect me to be good enough in my own strength. That’s why he gave me his Son to redeem me and his Holy Spirit to convict and change me.
As I was seeking answers to my struggles these past few weeks, God reached down and touched me in only a way that He can. This time he did it through the book Having a Mary Spirit. After thoroughly enjoying Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver, I asked my sister-in-law for that author’s next book for my birthday. Only God knew what perfect timing that book would be.
God gently reminded me that there are two forces at work inside me. Paul sums it up in the verses following his famous tongue-twister passage in Romans 7: “I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me” (Romans 7:21-23).
I had to realize that no matter how hard I try, I am always going to have, as Weaver puts it, “Flesh Woman” contending for her place in my heart. And what God wants me to do about that is to first of all recognize her. Turning a blind eye to her presence in my life isn’t the way to become more like Christ. I must recognize her and with the power of Christ fight against her. And if I lose a battle, I confess and repent and move on. I can’t get stuck in the wrongful thinking that just because Flesh Woman is part of my life, that doesn’t mean that she IS my life.
I’m still struggling with many of the areas God has revealed to me. But instead of wallowing in hopeless despair, I can now see myself the way God sees me: completely unworthy, yet completely valuable to him.
I was putting Drew to sleep one night, and it was as if God whispered in my ear, “Do you see how much you love Drew? Is it because of anything he has done? No, you love him because he’s your son. Do you love him any less when he misbehaves? Of course not. And aren’t you proud of him when he does what is right? That’s how I am with you. I love you unconditionally, and I’m proud of you when you choose my way. But your weaknesses don’t make me love you less.”
Thankfully, God understands that our sanctification (being made holy) isn’t an overnight deal. It’s a process. We can rest assured in Philippians 1:6: “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
Sometimes spiritual growth can be joyous. Sometimes it can be painful. For the past few weeks since writing my blog “Repetition,” I have gone through a growth of the latter kind.
Little did I know that when God laid upon my heart the song, “Empty Me,” he was preparing for something well beyond the scope of the example listed in the “I Get It” blog. I am taking a risk of being transparent in this post in hopes that through my experiences, God may touch you as he did me, albeit the hard way.
Through my prayer of “empty me,” God didn’t spare my feelings when he pointed out some areas in my life that need his transformation. However, in my flawed self, I had quite a bit of trouble with these realizations.
You see, I’ve come to realize that my view of myself isn’t rooted where it should be. Instead of realizing my value because of God’s love for me and his Son’s sacrifice for me, I vary from extreme to extreme. If I feel like I’ve got everything under control and I’m being a “good girl,” I feel on top of the world. But point out a flaw in me, and I fall into a downward spiral. I wonder how in the world have my friends stuck around this long? How has my family put up with me--and even more inconceivably--loved me? And for heaven's sake, who am I to think that I am in any position to be teaching a Bible study?
It’s inconceivable for me to think that God can use me if I have any areas of sin or weakness lurking under the surface. Whereas some people perhaps shy away from any kind of leadership position in the church or ministry for this same reason, I started questioning everything I’ve been doing in that capacity. In either case, it all boils down to one thought. I’m not good enough.
Alas, nothing could be more true. I’m NOT good enough. God doesn’t expect me to be good enough in my own strength. That’s why he gave me his Son to redeem me and his Holy Spirit to convict and change me.
As I was seeking answers to my struggles these past few weeks, God reached down and touched me in only a way that He can. This time he did it through the book Having a Mary Spirit. After thoroughly enjoying Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver, I asked my sister-in-law for that author’s next book for my birthday. Only God knew what perfect timing that book would be.
God gently reminded me that there are two forces at work inside me. Paul sums it up in the verses following his famous tongue-twister passage in Romans 7: “I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me” (Romans 7:21-23).
I had to realize that no matter how hard I try, I am always going to have, as Weaver puts it, “Flesh Woman” contending for her place in my heart. And what God wants me to do about that is to first of all recognize her. Turning a blind eye to her presence in my life isn’t the way to become more like Christ. I must recognize her and with the power of Christ fight against her. And if I lose a battle, I confess and repent and move on. I can’t get stuck in the wrongful thinking that just because Flesh Woman is part of my life, that doesn’t mean that she IS my life.
I’m still struggling with many of the areas God has revealed to me. But instead of wallowing in hopeless despair, I can now see myself the way God sees me: completely unworthy, yet completely valuable to him.
I was putting Drew to sleep one night, and it was as if God whispered in my ear, “Do you see how much you love Drew? Is it because of anything he has done? No, you love him because he’s your son. Do you love him any less when he misbehaves? Of course not. And aren’t you proud of him when he does what is right? That’s how I am with you. I love you unconditionally, and I’m proud of you when you choose my way. But your weaknesses don’t make me love you less.”
Thankfully, God understands that our sanctification (being made holy) isn’t an overnight deal. It’s a process. We can rest assured in Philippians 1:6: “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
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