My Center

Focal Verse: "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well" (Matthew 6:33).

Sitting down momentarily in my recliner this Sunday afternoon, I started thinking what I needed to do next. Having surprisingly gotten all my housework done, I was about to tackle another thing on my to-do list.

But my two-year-old son Drew was sitting on the bed playing with puzzles, wanting me to come play with him. Conflicted, my heart won out and I crawled up in the bed next to him and we enjoyed the Sunday afternoon together.

Lately, I have been feeling much anxiety regarding to the things I have to do and how I am supposed to do it all. I don't get home from work until after 6:00 every night. Then comes cooking dinner, cleaning up, housework, and hopefully squeezing in some quality time with Drew before it's time to give him a bath and put him to bed. The next thing I know, it's 9:00 and I still haven't studied for my Wednesday night mom's class or my upcoming Sunday night discipleship training class...or discussion questions for my Sunday School class...or writing on this blog...or writing thank-you notes...the list seems never ending. And not to mention, I also haven't spent any quality time with my husband yet.

My life has seemed like one big whirlwind lately. So much to do - so much I WANT to do - yet so little time to squeeze it in.

I recall a metaphor used by Joanna Weaver in her book Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World, where she talked about her each of her responsibilities representing a hula hoop, and her challenge was to balance them all and not drop one. How to do it? She said she had to find her "center." Once she found her center, she could balance all her responsibilities. Now, it's easy to think our "center" is Christ, and it is. But I think finding our center goes beyond that. If I look at everything in my life demanding my attention, I don't know how I could put one above another. My role as a wife, my role as a mother, and my role in the ministries God has called me to, each demand their place.

I wasn't sure how I was going to be and do everything needed (and remain sane at that!), so today I started praying, "God, show me how to find my center."

Thankfully, God revealed my first step in the precious eyes of my toddler. While I was trying to decide which task to tackle next today, I couldn't even consider anything but spending my time with Drew. It was through this that God showed me that my priority needs to be to my family, and he will provide time for my other responsibilities.

I know I'm not the only one who struggles with this. I certainly believe we can "do" too much and sometimes need to reconsider what we commit to. But when we're doing everything that we feel called to do - and nothing more - yet we still feel overwhelmed, it's time to find our center.

The oft-quoted passage Philippians 4:13 is true here. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I need to realize that if God has called me, he will equip me. And isn't it just like God to give us a God-sized task so we won't rely on our own abilities to do it? Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12,"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness,' ... For when I am weak, then I am strong" (v. 9a and 10b).

I think one of God's purposes for all of my responsibilities is that I will realize I can't do it all on my own strength. It is only through him and his power that I can find my center.